Heavens Hope
by blue eyes4
Summary: for full summary go to the first chapter. This story was posted before but I took it down to fix it up, and now its back with some new things added plus the next chapter of the story. hope you like it.
1. pro

Prologue 

          ~The land had become a boundless mass of death and decay.  Nothing had been left standing after the final battle.  The end had finally come, to wipe out mankind and the others were going to finally take back what we had taken from them eons ago.   We lost and the demons won.  I never believed that the dark would prevail over the light.  I was so very wrong.  As I stand here, looking down on what was once my home, I remember why I said I would never come here again and I hadn't until now.

4 years after the world lost, I stand and look at the rough rocky terrain of the wastelands, no demons or human survivors built here.  I don't blame them; after all it does sit on the mouth of hell.  But I don't think that's why they leave this place alone.  Now the waste lands, which is what sunnydale is called now, is just one big graveyard.  It was here that we fought for days on end, and it was here that we fell one by one.  There was nobody left to help bury the dead, even if there had been it would have taken years to pick through all the pieces.  So I left them all where they had fell, hoping that they finally got to have the peace and rest they all deserved. ~

The figure cloaked all in black stared with vacant eyes at the landscape, taking in all the differences that the years had brought on.  Not that it looked a lot better at the end, but there had still been some half fallen houses and buildings left.  Now there was nothing but rubble lying around and some crushed foundations.  The earth was still red, after all this time, marking the land that the Great War had been fought on.  Blood it seems does not soak into soil like water; unless it was to be the cruellest joke played by the powers, to haunt the cloaked figure through out eternity.

          ****

Hazel green eyes closed, as the vacancy began to fade, and tears welled up into eyes that had been dry and dead for over 3 years.  The first tear slowly slid down the pale creamy cheek as ghosts from the past began to whisper in her ears.  Voices she had forgotten, people she had forgotten surge towards her, bringing back the memory of that last day when the sky turned to a hellish red, the water turned to black and the light faded from this plane forever.

~The smell of blood was thick and heavy in the air, leaving some of the warriors gagging into their hands.  Screams were heard from all directions as the fighters of the light fell in their battles.  The hell mouth was open and spiting out a very hot red mist into the sky.  

"Brimstone, that smell must be what brimstone smells like" 

Buffy thought as her arm lashed out and broke the red jewel in the centre of the Morah demons head.  She fought with a stone cold passion, trying to make up the ground they had been losing for days, but with every one she killed ten more were there to take its place.

Hope for the world was slowly beginning to fade from the slayers eyes as she watched her army fall.  The hell mouth had to be closed if they were to have a chance at winning, Willow, Giles and the coven from England, stood around the gaping hole of the hell mouth getting ready to close it forever.  

"G-man we're dying over here! In the literal sense, can you start the ritual like now" 

Xander shouted, while he did his best to keep the demons away form the witches so they could perform their spells and hopefully save the world again.

The earth began to tremble and shake, as the sound of ripping fabric pierced the air, drowning out the sounds of clashing metal and pain filled screams.  Dimensions were colliding into one another ripping the fabrics of time and bleeding into each other.  Buffy pushed forward against the demons she was battling as armies of creatures and monsters she had never seen before made their way onto earths plain.  

"Cor slayer, get moving and dance the way I know you can you bloody git" 

Spike yelled at Buffy.

Standing back to back, the slayer and the vampire fought with everything they had left inside of them.  One fought to save the world and to keep the innocents safe while the other fought for one reason and one reason only.  He likes this world and he doesn't fancy living for eternity in some hell dimension.  He had told her that once before, and it still hadn't changed, he was what he was.  

The day became night, making it unclear as to how much time had passed since the fabrics had been ripped open, but to the warriors it felt like days.  The witches cast spell after spell, closing each rip one by one, praying that it would work and they could turn the tables back to their side.  Chanting rang out loud and clear as the last rip began to fade back into its own fabric.  No more armies would come through those portals, giving the humans and good demons a bit of a chance.

"BUFFY!!!"  

Willow screamed from her perch by the hell mouth.  Moving faster then a normal human could the slayer sidestepped a clawed hand as it came toward her.  Quickly raising her sword she brought it down severing the demons head from its body, without so much of a by your leave glance as she made her way to Willow.  

"Buffy, we can't seal it forever." 

Willow whispered to her friend.  

"Will we don't have time for this.  We're losing.  I need you all to do what ever you can."  

Buffy said.  

"What if what ever we do isn't good enough."  

"It'll have to be better then what it is now, and if it's not then I just want you to know that I love you all, and that I'll fight until I can't fight anymore." 

Buffy cried out to the friends that had gathered to make a protective shield around the hell mouth.

In the end the hell mouth was sealed forever, but at a horrible cost.  Giles, willow and Xander had sacrificed themselves in order to close it.  They had jumped into its gnawing mouth for their world, but it had been for nothing, for their world wasn't theirs anymore.  The tables never turned after that, no ground was made and the sky became red and the water turned to black like the river Styx, and the rest of the slayers friends fell before her.  But still she fought never ceasing always pushing, only stopping to comfort the people she had called friends as they spoke their last words and took their last breaths.

The slayer stood beaten and bloody over what used to be the mouth of hell.  She had survived, the battle was over and the world had lost, as she stood their looking at a sea of bodies.  Some she knew, while others who had come to fight the good fight remained nameless faces.  Alone!  She was truly alone now, cursed to live and to remember everyone and everything she had lost.  

"But isn't the slayer always alone.  That is how it has always been, and that is why the slayer has always done what she does best. KILL! HUNT! FIGHT! But now the slayer will also know loneliness like no other for you will live forever." 

The voice whispered into her ear.  Buffy turned quickly to kill what ever that voice belonged to, but fell short as a blazing red hand surged into her chest.

Agony filled the small form of the slayer as she fell to her knees.  Her mouth opened in a silent scream that only she and the heavens could hear.  As fast as the pain had ripped through her body, it stopped.  She remained on her knees gasping for air while tears of anguish, grief and loss ran down her face.  Alone, now she would truly know what it was like to be alone and to live forever.  There was no doubt in her mind that what ever that voice had said was true, and that she was now immortal.  That demon had done something to change her and she had felt the change inside of her when the hand had been removed.  

Buffy cried out to the heavens, cursing them for the games they played and for what she had lost, and then turned her back on them for allowing her to live forever, in a world that wasn't hers anymore.  Slowly her heart began to grow cold as she cried until it hardened into stone.  If she had to live forever, she would do so, but she would forget everything and everyone, but to do that she would have to leave this place and never come back.  Then she would have to forget whom she was and what she was, to do 

that the slayer would have to die along with Buffy.  As the lone figure walked out of what had been Sunnydale only a month ago, a new person was being formed.  

"Elizabeth" 

the girl said.  

"That's who I am now."  

Walking southwest, she never looked back, so she didn't see the man that crawled out of the rubble that had fallen on top of him during the battle.  She also didn't hear the voice of the heavens proclaim her as Heavens Hope.  The man was the only one left to hear it, and he knew what it meant.  Buffy was alive, and that's all that he cared about.

A/N Well I hope you liked it, and don't worry just cause the scoobies are gone along with the fang gang doesn't mean anything.  Just keep reading to find out what I mean ok.  Plz….Plz…..Plz review cause its important to know what needs to be fixed, and what I can make better.  Oh and flames are welcome.  Thanks.


	2. 1

A/N ~flashbacks~ are going to be displayed like this ~…….~.

ok I hope you can all follow that if not let me know and I will do my best to fix it. Now on to the story.

Chapter One 

Slowly the cloaked figure made her way to the centre of the wastelands.  Why had she come back here, after all these years, after all the effort she had put into forgetting everything about her past.  Stopping just before the gaping hole of the now-sealed hell mouth, she shook her head.  The images were getting stronger, more of them were flashing before her eyes making her remember all she had forgotten.

~ The small red head looked up with tears in her eyes, as she met the hard piercing stare of green eyes.  Smiling sadly she took in everything she possible could about her best friend.  

"Buffy!  If it hadn't been for you I wouldn't have lived through high school.  I Love you and I am proud to call you my friend.  Tell the others that I love them, and tell Angel……… Tell Angel that I am so sorry for the things that I said, and for being to blind to see what was right in front of me all these years.  Buffy you have sacrificed everything for this world, and you always try to do it alone, but you aren't, you have us.  I can seal the hell mouth, but to do it I have to make a sacrifice too.  So please don't blame yourself and don't think you failed me because you didn't, this is something I am willing to do for the world.  Good luck! I'll always be with you" 

Willow whispered to her friend.  

Watching the fury that was the slayer, try to make her way towards them, made willow fly into action.  The red head knew that her whispered words had reached the slayer's ears, and she also knew that she would try to stop them.  Turning to Giles she nodded and started to chant.  

"Gods of the Heavens I beseech thee, let us close this door forever.  Let us take back what is ours, and let the slayer live so that what has been done may be undone.  Hear my voice, and answer, take my life so that the world may live to fight another day."  

Willow shouted to the heavens before jumping into the very pits of hell. ~  

The cloaked figure screamed out in anguish as her hands reached out before her, she had to save willow.  Slowly the hazy fog within her mind began to clear, blinking the wetness from her eyes she looked at the spot that her friend had jumped from.  

"Willow, I remember, I had tried so hard to forget, and I had.  But it's all coming back to me now, and I wish it wasn't."  

She whispered to the roaring wind.

~ A sea of blue looked towards her with intensity, making her shiver.  

"Spike, what are you looking at? I don't have time for this, get back to kicking some demon ass now!"  

Buffy spat at Spike.  

"Cor slayer don't go getting your knickers in a bunch.  I just wanted to tell you that I…."  

"DON'T! DON'T you dare tell me you love me Spike, not now and not ever!"  

Buffy screamed, as she slashed her sword across the chest of a very big and very ugly demon.  

"But I do Buffy! I always have! Don't you see that? I am trying to show you the man that I can be."  

Spike whispered.  

" Man? Man? YOU aren't a man, spike.  You're a vampire! A demon! You can never be a man again.  I don't love you like that, I never did.  When I came back from heaven everything was so cold and dead, so I slept with you, it didn't mean anything.  You were just convenient and dead, it helped to make me feel more alive.  God Spike don't look at me like that, I am stressed right now you know, with the world about to end and all my friends dying, so please just leave it alone."  

The slayer huffed as a hand connected with her head throwing her off balance.  Spike moved like lightning dispatching the vampire with one punch to the chest, removing its dead heart.

 "After all this time, after everything he's put you through, and you've put him through you still love him.  What's so great about the great poufter anyways, he's dead as well luv or hadn't you noticed.  He could never make you happy Buffy, I thought you had already figured that out."  

Spike spoke softly to the slayer standing before him.  

"Spike what I do or don't feel for Angel is, don't, don't, God I love him ok I do.  I know it my friends know it even if they wont admit to it, and Christ Spike even you know it so why say anything at all.  Angel is the only one I have ever loved, and he's the only one I will ever love that way, so please understand that, and just leave this alone."  

Buffy said.  

"Fine pet I'll leave you to it then, and maybe I'll see you on the other side."  

Spike whispered as he turned away to start the good fight once more.  

"William" 

Buffy whispered. Spike turned towards her.  

"What? Pet" 

he whispered just as softly trying to hide the tears and emotions threatening to break forth.  

"I do love you William just not the way you want me to love you.  You've fought beside us for years now, and in my books that does make you a man, a good man William.  I am sorry for the things I just said it wasn't right, cause your not that thing anymore, not with a soul at least." 

Buffy whispered as a small smile began to lift the corners of her mouth.  

"Cor slayer, I always new you cared, now stop turning me in to a ninny."  

Spike laughed as he went to make his way to the front lines again with the slayer in tow.

Stepping out into the fray once more the slayer and vampire began to swing and swipe at any demons that came within a 3-foot radius of them.  Dancing is what they had both done best.  Buffy turned towards Spike as she gutted a small quick demon, looking up just in time to see the thing that had just thrust a piece of wood into Spikes heart.  

"Spike" 

Buffy screamed, as Spike mouthed her name, 

"Buffy" 

and crumpled into dust.  Tears glowed in her bright green eyes as she watched his ashes be carried away on the raging wind.  She never saw the creature coming up behind her and raising its hand and bringing it down hard on the side of her head.  Blessed darkness took her as she fell to the ground. ~

The small lone figure who was now known as Elizabeth, sank to her knees, as a never-ending pit of emptiness began to fill her chest.  For a feeling of emptiness the pain was excruciating, filling her up and making it almost impossible to breath.  Gone, they were all gone now.  Willow, Spike, Xander.  Xander she never saw or heard his last words, she had been lying in a pool of blood, wishing that it had been her own.  Cordy, had been the one to tell her of Xander's demise and the only four words he had uttered before jumping into the hell mouth.  

"I am sorry for everything" 

he had yelled to the world.  Which had been enough for the rest of us that were left.  He had been sorry for all the wrongs he had done to his friends through out the years, and it left us with a way to forgive him for those wrongs.

Giles had been the next one to jump, sealing the hell mouth forever, those who knew him, knew that he did it for the world he fought for but most of all he did it for the slayer he had grown to love like a daughter.  If it had meant his life for Buffy's he would have always given it freely, and he had finally gotten his chance to save the world and the girl who would always be the daughter of his heart.  Rupert Giles last words to his charge before he jumped had been heartfelt, but from a distance because he knew that she would never willingly let him sacrifice his life for the world, when she always felt that it was part of her calling and not his.

~ Buffy listened to Cordelia relay Xander's message once she had pushed herself up from the bloodied ground.  

"No not Xander too" 

came the choked sob from Buffy.  While Cordelia let the floodgates open, and her tears streaked down her face.  

"I am sorry Buffy, he was a good man, and that was one of the bravest things I have ever seen.  He changed a lot over the years.  I am just sorry I only knew the boy he once was and not the man he grew into." 

Cordy cried.  

"I can see you've changed too, Cordy, for the better.  I can understand now why he loves you.  I have to get to Giles, I'll see you."  

Buffy whispered as she fought to keep the heartache of Angel and Cordy buried deep inside.  She moved quickly never looking back at the once Queen C of Sunnydale.

Angel stepped up beside Cordy as she watched Buffy make her way towards Giles.  

"Why didn't you tell her, we're not together like that anymore." 

Angel asked while never taking his eyes from the small blonde that fought her way to the side of the hell mouth.  

"I don't know, I think it has something to do with the fact that its Buffy, and I always had to beat her no matter what the truth actually was.  Angel you have to understand when she came into my life, she literally turned it upside down, she was everything I wanted to be and I hated her for it.  I think I still do." 

Cordy whispered to one of the three men she ever loved.  Two of those men where gone now, one years ago, and the other one only about twenty minutes ago.  She just hoped that she wouldn't live to see the last of her loves leave this world as well.  The man beside her didn't say anything, there wasn't really anything he could say, and this was a pain that she would have to work out on her own.

Buffy stood in front of Giles, the only thing separating them was the hell mouth.  

"Giles please don't do this! I need you!" 

Buffy whispered with exhaustion etched on her face.  The man that was her mentor and the father she always wished for stared at her.  The look was filled with desperation and pleading, as the world was falling down around them.  

"Buffy its… it's the only way I fear" 

Giles said to his slayer.  

"Giles NO! We'll find another way " 

she yelled.  

"Buffy please! We have a responsibility to the world. it is the only way.  You have to keep fighting, I know you can stop this" 

the watcher whispered.  Her mind was going into over drive, as she looked around at all the carnage and destruction, trying to find a way to change it without Giles doing the most incredibly stupidest and noblest thing.

"When did everything change Giles? When did we start losing more then we were actually winning?"  

"I don't know Buffy, I just don't know" 

he whispered, while taking his glasses off to wipe them.  

"That's so like Giles to go and do the Giles'y thing, even in the heat of a battle" 

Buffy thought, as a small smile crossed her lips, during the gesture that was his trademark.  

"Giles if you're not here to help me, how am I going to find Dawn?  You do remember Dawn don't you?  She's about yea high, long brown hair, they came and took her before all this shit started, and we still don't know why?"  

Buffy spat sarcastically.

Giles looked at his slayer with compassion filled eyes.  She had already been through so much, losing people she loved, losing the girl she had been before becoming the slayer, and fighting evil every night for a world that would never know how often she put her life on the line for all of humanity.  Right now the world was having a nasty wake up call, but no matter the outcome the world would still not know what this young woman in front of him had given up for them.  No one but the remote few would ever know just what Buffy Summers had done for their world.

"I love you! You are the daughter of my heart. always remember that Buffy and it will be enough to get you through the obstacles to come."  

He informed his charge.  

"Giles, I don't understand, what obstacles, this is the end of days if you hadn't noticed, its not going to get anymore challenging then this"  

"No Buffy, all this is just the beginning, there were a few scrolls that I had been looking into, and the worst is yet to come.  But I know you can get through it because that's what you do, you fight and that makes you strong. Remember that.  I promise we will meet again."  

Giles said.  He slowly smiled at his charge and looked at the war raging around him before he started his incantation to seal the Hellmouth.

Buffy watched on in shock as the man she had grown to love gave up his own life for hers.  She would fight, because that's what he would want, but after, well after she would do what she wanted to do so long ago, she would quit, whatever the outcome may be she would not be the slayer anymore.  Tears began to fall from her eyes as she met his eyes one last time, he didn't speak but his eyes spoke volumes to her own.  Somehow he knew what she had just decided but moments ago, and the sadness in that look tore at her heart as he jumped to his death. ~

She found herself laying on the hard ground as she came out of the memory.  He had known she would come back, known that she would try to forget, but he had also known that the past would catch up to his slayer, and deep down inside she had known it as well.  The future can never be reached with out remembering your past, for it's the past that reflects the paths that the future will hold.

A/N Well that's the end of chapter one, I hope you like it, if not let me know cause I can always fix it and then edit the chapter.  Who know I might do that myself cause I am always improving my writing, for some strange reason I love to revise.  Well whether you love it or hate it, I just want to let you know that this story is my baby and I have great plans for it, so I hope you read it cause this is just the beginning.


	3. 2

Chapter two Angel in the Wings 

Strong broad arms lashed out in a vicious series of blows to the head and torso of a ring rat demon.  

"How in the hell do you kill these things?" 

Angel yelled to no one in particular.  At that moment the demon rushed forward allowing his shoulder, or what looked to be its shoulder, connect with Angel's chest bringing him to the ground.  It wasn't the first time during the battle that the vampire was thankful that he didn't have to breathe.  Rolling to the left with the grace of a panther, Angel came to his feet ready for the next attack. 

The demon rose to its own feet and roared its rage at the vampire standing before him.  

"YOU WILL DIE!" 

it hissed through sharp teeth.  

"You know I've heard that before, and they never succeed, so why don't we just get this over with because I have a world to help save." 

Angel growled.  Both demons jumped forward at the same time going for the kill.  Angel saw the glint of steel on the ground to his left from the corner of his eye, and quickly reacted.  Stepping to the left he shot his foot out connecting with the sword, and flipped it into the air.  Moving his right hand across his left he grab the sword, bringing his right arm back around in a smooth clean ark slicing cleanly through the Ring Rat demon.  It didn't have the chance to stop the attack, it had happened so fast the demon had missed Angel's intention until the searing pain ripped through him.  Slowly the demons upper body slid from its lower body to lie on the bloodied ground.  

"Well… that was easy" 

Angel thought, as he turned around and raised his sword blocking the swing of a sword-wielding demon.

Sparks flew, with each clash of metal that rang out during the fight.  Advance, advance and thrust, became the mantra to which Angel fought, while in the offensive position. during his defensive position he would repeat block, block, jump back and block inside his head.  This guy was huge and didn't seem like it was going to tire any time soon.  Raising his sword he blocked yet another attack when the earth started to tremble and shake.  The demon lost it's footing and crashed to the ground, Angel moved quickly thrusting his sword down through its chest hard, killing it instantly.  

"The bigger they are the harder they fall" 

Angel thought as he tried to maintain his own footing as the earth began to shake more violently.

The sound of glass shattering rent through the air behind him just as the groaning of a structural support began to scream.  Angel turned to see the building behind him begin to collapse.  Turning quickly the vampire tried to get out of the way of the falling structure.  A billow of white dust hit him after taking only three quick strides.  Being a vampire gave you exceptional vision but not even vampires could see in this cloud of white.  Angel fell forward as bricks and wood began to fall on him.  The pressure of the debris would be enough to kill any human or demon.  Angel just prayed that his death would be quick, when he was struck in the side of the head.  As the last of the building fell on him, Angel fell into the blessed abyss of darkness thinking only one thought.  

"BUFFY!"

 The earth was still, and the sounds of battle had died.  There was nothing, no sound, no sight, no smell and no taste, just silence.  The silence was deafening, pulling at you between the moment of awakening and sleep.  Slowly colours began to fill the void of darkness that was Angel's mind, pulling him back into conciseness.  Pain…searing hot white pain coursed through out his whole body, making him close his eyes and breathe in huge amounts of unnecessary air.  Death would have been better then the situation he found himself in.  Moving his left hand, he pulled a rock from the side of the tomb he now found himself buried in. 

A hand broke through the rubble, scattered on the ground breaking the silence, with the sound of shifting bricks and other building supplies.  Slowly the vampire pulled himself free of his prison.  Looking around, he wondered just how long he had been out.  The battle was over; all that remained was the smoking pit of the hell mouth, and the bodies of the slain demons and warriors.  Looking to the sky in defeat, Angel noticed a bright circle of light break through the hellish red.  His eyes were seeing things he thought, until the soft heavenly voice filled his ears, making his demon scream in burning anguish.  The holy voice filled his body with living fire, as it whispered but four words to the world, 

"YOU ARE HEAVEN'S HOPE".  

Angel found himself on his knees with his head in his hands and tears streaming down his face.  Looking up, he looked in the direction his soul was being pulled towards, and saw her.  His girl had made it, and heaven knew.  Standing he moved in the direction she had gone, hoping to keep sight of her.  Buffy was alive and that's all he cared about.

Moving quickly to catch up with his love, he tried to keep his eyes from the bodies at his feet.  

"No, please not now, aaahhh" 

Angel stopped dead in his tracks.  Whipping around he looked in the direction that voice had come form.  He knew that voice, it was her voice, and he knew she was in pain.  Torn between the love he would always feel for Buffy and the brief love he had felt for Cordelia, Angel froze.  The cry came again; Angel made his decision.  Buffy was the slayer, she would be safe, and he would always be able to find her no matter where she would go.  Their souls would call to each other until they were together again.  He moved towards the cries of Cordelia, right now she needed him more then his little blonde slayer.

He finally found her broken and bloody body beneath a demon.  He had to fight for control over his demon as it tried to come forth form the smell of her blood.  Angel gained the control that he needed and removed the body from on top of hers.  Looking at his friend he knew she wouldn't live much longer, she had lost too much blood, and her heart was already becoming faint.  

"Cordy" 

Angel whispered as he dropped to the ground beside her, lifting her slight frame into his arms.  

"Angel?"  

A small pain filled smile lifted the corners of her mouth.  

"I thought you were dead, after I saw you go down under that falling building" 

she choked trying to pull air into her burning lungs.  

"Shhh…don't try to talk, you're going to be fine, you just need to rest for a bit," 

he sobbed.  

"Angel….I…I know I am….dying"  

"and…I know….you know that…..a-as well"  

she whispered.  Angel tried to keep the tears from falling, Cordy didn't need that right now, he would remain strong for her.

"Its funny" 

she smiled. 

"What? How could you find this funny?" 

he almost yelled but it broke into a sob.  

"The powers can't even let me die in piece, they had to give me one more vision to give to you.  I guess there's no rest for the ones that fight for them, until you're completely gone from this hell hole" 

she cried.  

"Cordy, what do you mean vision, there's nothing left, we lost!  The world will never be what it once was.  The fight is over."  

"No, No its not over, its never over, you should know that.  She told you that once before, have you already forgotten the words she said to you that night."  

"How?  I never told anyone about."  

"Angel vision girl remember.  They show me what I need to see.  What they showed me isn't good.  This; all of this, is just the beginning, and its going to be a rough road, for both of you.  She's changed Angel, she's not just a girl or the slayer anymore."  

"I don't understand"  

"You will; in time, but you have to let her find her way on her own.  Don't look at me like that! You have to understand that she's more then what she was at the start of this.  I wish I could tell you what happened to change her or why she needs to do this alone, but they only show me what I need to tell you."  

"I know she's changed, as I watched her walking out of Sunnydale, I could smell it.  I know she's still the same person but she's not exactly human any more ether.  I just don't understand what could have done this" 

he whispered.  

"She was with me; just after I fell, I…I let the past finally rest, and I told her about us.  I think she's forgiven me for everything I said to her because she started to cry.  She's turned out to be a wonderful woman, I just wish she didn't have to suffer as much as she has in the past, but I know that her suffering is only going to get worse in the years to come."  

"I love you Angel, just not as much as she did and still does.  Oh god I…I…I told her that you were dead.  I thought you were…the building... oh Angel her eyes, that last little bit of fire that burned in them just went out right before my eyes, and I knew that she would find a way to die with all of us.  She's alone now Angel and she's going to have to be until its time to make everything right again." 

Cordy whispered.

Hands met and came together in a desperate struggle to hold on to this little bit of life that they once knew. The two forms clung to each other, one broken and bloody on the outside and the other broken on the inside.  The vampire held the woman close as her body began to tremble and her breathing became more ragged.  Lowering his head to hers, their lips moved in whispers as they said their final good-byes.  

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP 

Cordelia's heart began to struggle as it tried to pump the little bit of blood left in her body.  

THUM-P THUM-P THUM-P  

Slowly her heart began to slow, as the last of her life's blood seeped from her body.  

THU-MP THU-MP THU-MP 

She wasn't afraid, in these last moments lying in the arms of humanity's guardian angel, her Angel.  Piece was just around the corner for her and she knew that it wouldn't be much longer.  He held her close as her eyes began to dim and her heart began to slow.  She had been with him for years; his rock, his link to the powers, his friend but most of all his reminder of what he left behind when he moved to L.A.  The first tear fell from his eyes when the woman in his arms choked on the air her body was struggling to take in.  Her lips moved in an attempt to comfort him with whispered words.  

TH…MP TH….MP TH….MP THU….MP THU…… 

Angel pulled her more tightly into his chest as her heart gave up its useless struggle for life.  Her eyes glazed over as the soul that had been Cordelia Chase left her body and this life forever.

Angel cried out into the wind, as he rocked his friend in his arms, she was gone, dead because she had had to fight for a world that had ended up losing in the end.  He sat there holding her for what seemed like days, but had probably only been hours.  Time had no meaning here anymore; there was no sun or moon. Hell…there wasn't even a blue sky or stars, just a red haze that covered the vast expanse of what had once been the earth's atmosphere.  Gently he lay the small girl in his arms on the cold red ground before him, his dead heart was shattering into a million pieces as he stood.  Buffy was gone and no matter how much he wanted to find her and help her, he couldn't.  He would have to wait until she was ready to find him.  Looking at the woman at his feet, he pushed the thoughts of his slayer out of his mind, he didn't have time to brood right now, he had to bury their friends, and then make his way back to L.A, where his son and the other half of there army had fought.  He could only hope that some of his family was still alive, and waiting for any survivors from the hell mouth to show up.  Alive or dead, Angel knew that he would always keep fighting to fix what the world had become.  He knew that it was something that they would have all wanted, especially her. She had said so that night on the hill while he had been waiting for the sun to rise.  Turning to his task, he began his search for the bodies of his friends among the masses that scattered the ground.


	4. 3

Chapter three 

L.A Rule

I never realized just how far L.A really was from Sunnydale; it must have torn her heart in two knowing how much distance I put between us.  I don't know how long I have been walking for, but I still can't see any city lights on the horizon.  I hope that just means I am not close to L.A yet.  If L.A looks the same as Sunnydale, I think I will finally let all of this anger, sadness, pain and defeat wash over me, taking me down in to the throws of despair because what will be the point.  I am like everyone else, well, beside the fact that I am a vampire, but still, even vampires can only take so much, until we finally just snap.  I don't know what I'll do or what I'll become, but I do know that I'll never be the same again.

_I am starting to doubt my self now; I mean, are the powers that be even real? 'cause I don't know anymore.  If they are then why let it turn out like this in the end, why let their warriors die for a cause we had no chance of winning.  I am so tried, I don't even know what I am saying, and I think I've finally gone mad.  Is that me laughing, man am I losing it or what.  They're dead because of things like me.  I should have kept them safe, but I failed them, it seems I always hurt the ones I love the most, and I don't understand why.  Is it part of my curse? Like how I walk the night, or how I am tormented by my past crimes as the demon Angelus, or is that I am just not strong enough to protect the ones I love, because I had never known love until I met them.  I don't know! I just don't know the reason for anything anymore.  _

_L.A! My god, I see the lights of the city, its still standing but how can that be possible, the battle was going to spill out this way, that's why we needed two armies, that's why we divided our forces.  How can this be?  There are humans here still, I can smell them and hear their heartbeats while they sleep in their beds and walk the streets, but I can also feel the evil that has come to consume this place, the air stinks of it.  My family! I have to find them, and my son.  Connor! I know he's alive. I can feel him.  I have to snap out of this and do what I was told to do, and that's fight so that I can help change all this… if its possible._

The streets of L.A were busy, with hoards of people trying to get from point A to B with out being noticed.  Angel looked at the humans as they moved along to do what they had always done on any normal day, but it would never be a normal day again for any of them.  The air stunk of fear, signalling that the people left in L.A knew that their world would never be the same again.  Walking quickly, he passed demons and humans on his way to the hotel.  Maybe his family would still be there, if the hotel itself was still there.  As he walked on he could feel eyes watching him, but he showed no sign of noticing.  Wouldn't do any good to let them know he knew they were watching him.  Keeping his eyes in front of him, he walked on thinking of one thing only; finding his friends…if any were still alive.

The Hotel loomed before him, as he stopped at the gates.  There were three heartbeats inside the building, signalling that there were three people at least left alive.  Passing through the courtyard slowly, Angel made his way to the lobby doors, and stopped.  He could see Fred, Lorne and Conner behind the counter talking in hushed tones.  It looked like a very heated conversation, by Conner's agitated movements.  Angel quietly slipped inside with out making a sound.  Moving into the shadows just off to the right, he stood and watched his family talk about him.

Fred looked at Conner sadly as her heart broke for him, this wasn't going to be easy for him, or any of them left, but what choice did she have she would have to tell it like it is.  

"Conner it's been three weeks since the battle. We lost! and if anyone from Sunnydale was still alive they would have been here by now." 

She stated firmly.  

"He's not dead! I know it, he wouldn't die and leave me…..I mean us alone."  

Conner corrected himself; hoping  the others had missed his slip up.  

"Fred may have a point kiddo.  I am not saying that Angel-cakes is really gone, but we have to think about the possibility that he is, cause he would have been back by now" 

the host whispered soothingly to the agitated young man.

He stood in the shadows listening to his friends and son fight over the fact that he was dead.  Angel smiled to himself, as a bit of the grief lifted from his chest.  Conner cared about him, even if he wouldn't admit it, but he had heard the little slip before Conner had covered it up.  Maybe there was still hope for the two of them even after everything they had gone through.  Something good just may come out of all this pain.  Angel turned his attention back to the argument going on when he heard Conner shout.  

"No!"  

"Conner, please, you have to think about this rationally, your dad would be back by now," 

Fred yelled.  Realizing what she had just done, Fred moved to ward Conner, as tears sprang to her eyes.  

"I am sorry I didn't mean to yell, you just have to understand he's not coming back, none of them are.  Do you think that I don't wish they were! God, Gunn died in my arms, and I wish that he was coming back, but he's not because life and death don't work that way.  It hurts, I know, and its painful, so painful that you can't breathe, but we have to keep fighting cause if we don't then we might as well be dead too.  Do you think that's what they would have wanted?"  

Fred cried, as she reached out to Conner.  Conner stepped back from her as she reached out for him, he was screaming inside, while on the outside he tried to keep his face shuttered, but he was failing.  

"No, he's alive I know he is, he wouldn't die. Do you hear me, he wouldn't die!" 

Conner shouted.  Quickly he turned and bolted up the stairs towards his room.  The sound of his door slamming rang out in the silence.  

"Lorne, what are we gonna do."  

"I don't know sweetie, I just don't know."

Angel took that moment to step out of the shadows and into the brightly lit lobby, coming to stand behind his friends.  

"Maybe if I was to talk to him, he would feel a little bit better" 

Angel said.  Fred cried out in shock as she turned around to face him, the host did pretty much the same thing.  

"Oh god, Angel your alive, you made it, we thought you were dead, and don't ever do that again. You almost gave me a heart attack, next time make some noise or something."  

Fred screeched still holding her hand over her racing heart.  

"Angel-cakes its good to see that you're among the living, well not living but you know what I mean.  Are you the only one, or are more coming?" 

Lorne smiled at the vampire.  

"I am glad that you're both ok, and I am the only one that's here, we need to talk but I heard what you guys were talking about and I have to go and talk to Conner first.  We'll both be back down in a bit."  

Angel said just before he head up the stairs Conner had run up moments before.

Angel hesitated outside of his son's room, what would his reaction be, would he show emotion or would he keep them shuttered and buried deep within him.  He didn't know but he knew he would just have to take it one step at a time.  Raising his arm he let his hand fall on the door,  

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, 

Angel's hand fell back to his side, as he waited for his son to answer the door.  

"Go Away, I am done talking to both of you" 

came the muffled reply.  Angel sighed as he grasped the doorknob only hoping that his son didn't lock it.  It turned in his hand, and he swung the door open taking a step into the room, just before stopping in his tracks.  Angel stared at his son lying on his bed with his face in his pillow; sounds of muffled crying reached his ears as he watch his form shake with sobs.  Angel didn't know what to do, his boy never cried, he never showed emotion, but then again maybe he did show emotion just not in front of them.  He walked towards his son and stopped at the foot of the bed.  

"Conner" 

he whispered, trying not to frighten him.

The young man on the bed tensed, and then went completely still, he didn't so much as twitch.  Angel sighed as he watched his son lay completely motionless, he couldn't even hear if he was breathing, but he could hear his heartbeat; which was racing in his chest.  

"Conner, are you going to look at me" 

he tried again.  

"No" 

came the childish reply.  

"Why not?"  

"Because you're not real.  They keep telling me you're dead, so you can't be here."  

"Do you think I am dead or do you know for a fact that I am dead?"  

"They say you are cause you didn't come back, but there's no proof that you actually are."  

"Well then why would I not be real Conner?"  

"Because the mind likes to play tricks on people during painful times, Fred told me so, that's why I've been having these dreams."  

"Conner, look at me.  Look at me when I am talking to you." 

Angel half yelled as he moved to the side of his bed.  He stood there waiting for his son to look up at him, after a minute passed with no response, or show of movement, Angel got mad.  He reached down and grabbed Conner by the arm, and yanked him in to a sitting position right in front of him.  Kneeling at the side of the bed Angel looked his son straight in the eye, as he gently shook him.  

"Do I look like I am dead Conner?  Does it feel like I am not real?  Conner I am here, I would never leave you with out saying good bye first, you're my son."  

Angel whispered.  Conner's eyes weld up with emotion, and tears as one word slipped from his lips.  

"Dad"  

Angel wrapped his son in his strong arms, as he cried out his fears and frustration of the past few weeks.  Angel found he was crying along with his son, as he realized that Conner could have died during the battle too.  Father and son remained in each other's arms, as the tears fell and soft whispered Gallic words filled the air.  He hadn't spoken his mother tongue in years, not since leaving Buffy, and now he found himself comforting his son the way he had once comforted the slayer.  Slowly the sobs turned into sniffles, until the body in his arms went lax.  Rising to his feet, he swept his son up into his arms; he pulled the blankets down to settle him into bed.  Covering his son, he dropped a quick kiss on his forehead, hoping that he would at least sleep the night through.  It looked like he hadn't been sleeping well, and if he was have dreams like he had mentioned then that could be why he looked worn down.  Walking out of the room he closed the door behind him.

Fred and Lorne were in a very hushed conversation when he walked back down the stairs, the last thing Fred said got his attention.  

"What about Wolfram & Hart?" 

he asked as he settled himself in a chair.  Lorne and Fred looked at each other, and then at anything else that would keep their eyes from the vampire seated in front of them.  

"Well Angel you see, well they are evil as we already know, and well haven't you wondered why L.A is still in one piece?"  

Fred asked.  

"Yes I did but what does that have to do with, Oh, this isn't going to be good" 

he sighed.  

"They're running the show here in L.A now.  There's nothing that they don't know, its like they have eyes all over the city watching everything and everyone.  Angel-cakes it looks like it's going to be one bleak future for all of us." 

Lorne relayed to his friend.

Sitting back in his chair, he looked at what was left of his family.  Things were going to be hard for the years a head of them, but they would survive.  What other choice did they have, they had always done that and they would remain doing that, it was the only thing left for them to do.  Fred looked at Angel as she saw the tall tale signs of brood mode setting in.  Sighing to herself she looked at Lorne, who was staring at Angel intensely.  

"Lorne, are you reading him, can you even do that with out him singing?" 

she asked.  Angel was pulled out of his thoughts by that comment.  Looking to the person in question he raised his I brow, as he watched him.  

"Angel, I can't help it, your aura's screaming, I can't help but read you.  Something big is going to happen and its going to change you, I don't know if you're going to like what you become, but I do know that you're going to still be the Angel-cakes we all care about."  

He said.  Angel just stared at him, as he thought about what could change him, more then what the battle had changed.  The sound of the lobby door being thrown open drew they're attention away form the conversation.  A growl escaped Angel when he saw who it was.

Lilah Morgan opened the door to the lobby and walked right in, with out so much as blinking.  

"Why Angel it's so nice to have you home.  We all thought that you were dead, and hoping it was true" 

Lilah smirked at the three that sat before her.  

"What are you doing here Lila?" 

Angel growled.  

"tsk, tsk, tsk.  Now Angel you know why I am here."  

"No Lilah I don't and I think its time you leave" 

he growled again as he rose from his chair this time.  

"I don't think so Angel, you see I am here to tell you how it's going to go, and you have no choice but to listen.  If you don't then your friends will die one by one, and then we'll take your son cause we're still dying to know what makes him even possible.  L.A has a new rule now, you listen to what we say, you do what we say, when we say it or you die.  Its that simple, follow the rule and live a relatively peaceful life, if not then I can promise you that your life will be even worse then your little trip to hell.  Why Angel, what's the matter nothing to come back at me with." 

Lilah laughed as she turned to leave them.  Angel stood watching the retreating figure open the front door.  

His anger had almost made him kill her on the spot, but that wouldn't have been smart, he needed wolfram and hart to think that he would comply to their wishes, and he would as far as they would know.  Nobody could play games as good as Angelus could and Lila Morgan was going to find that out the hard way, but to do that without danger to his friends and son, he would need to find a way to bind his soul to the demon, not just his body.  Wolfram and hart always said that Angelus would play a big part in the final battle, and now he would, it just wouldn't be for them like they had thought.  The rules were about to change for Wolfram and hart; Angelus was going to be let out to play, and the real game was going to begin.  The lawyers would never know what hit them until its too late.  Fred shivered when Angel turned around to look at them, she had never known his demon side, but she knew that the look he wore now was none other then the scourge of Europe himself.  

"Guys we have work to do, L.A's rule is about to change, and they wont even know it, but first we need to find a way to bind my soul to the demon." 

Angel said as he turned towards the office and the old tomes they had there.  

"Angel don't you mean bind your soul to your body?"  

Fred asked nervously.  

"No, if I bind my soul and the demon together, then I will never lose my soul again, and the demon will do what the soul wants, but the demon will also be able to do what it wants without any harm to those I love, and to the innocent.  Wolfram and hart are going to be in for a big surprise, now we have work to do so let's move"  

he said.  They all moved into the office shutting the door behind them, it seemed that their battle was just beginning.


	5. 4

Chapter four 

Rising of the new Dawn

May 26 2004 

One week before the battle

"See you guys tomorrow at school" 

Dawn called to her friends as she left the Bronze.  The sound of her heals falling on the pavement with each step she took, echoed off the walls of the surrounding buildings.  The night was still, too still for Sunnydale, nothing moved, not even the light breeze that touched the side of her face.  It was as if time itself was frozen, marking this night for something that would change lives forever.  Looking up Dawn found herself coming up to Restfeild cemetery, just two more blocks and she would be home.  The night suddenly shifted, she could feel it along her skin, as the unknown threat sent shivers up and down her spine.  Looking in the shadows, she strain to see anything, while wishing that Buffy were here with her.  Watching, what ever was here was watching her, stalking her.  Home was just around the corner now she could make it if she ran.  There was a small movement to her right, it had been faint, but she had still picked it up, heart racing in her chest she ran.  The sound of crashing bushes met her ears from behind, as she ran.  She never looked back to see what hideous creature could be after her, she just ran with a speed she never knew she even possessed.  She hit the walkway to her home and did the only thing she could as she flew towards the front door.  

"BUFFY, HELP!" 

Dawn screamed at the top of her lungs.  She had just hit the bottom of the porch when the front door flew open, and her sister ran out, with Spike right behind her.  

"Spike get her out of here now, make sure she's inside and safe," 

the slayer said in a deadly calm.  

"Buffy, their human pet, you can't deal with them the way you would a demon." 

Spike whispered to her as he kept his eyes on the five men that stood surrounding the Summers property.  

The sound of air being ripped in two reached their ears, just as Dawn cried out in pain.  Turning to her sister, she reached out to her, as her body slowly began to feel heavy and weak.  Buffy moved to grab her sisters falling body when the air ripped in two again.  The slayer stopped short, as she reached up to pull the dart from her shoulder.  Her body became lead as soon as the dart had struck but she pushed it from her mind, Dawn needed her right now, and she would save her.  Dropping to the ground beside her sister, she could her the sounds of fighting now, Spike would help save them, he would never let anything happen to Dawn, he promised after all.  Buffy's vision began to blur as she tried to lift her self, and her sister from the ground.  She knew that if she could just make it into the house they would be safe for the time being.  The slayer and her sister never made it into the house that night, as the drug brought the slayer to her knees again, slowly blackness began to cloud her mind as sleep finally took her.   He saw her go down, as the men in front of him moved forward as one.  Taking a step back he readied himself to protect the girls that he loved.  No one would hurt them while he lived they had all been through too much to have it end any other way.  The man to his right raised his hand toward him; energy surged through the air, cackling around him.  White-hot fire seemed to rip through his body as he fell to the lawn twitching with the electrical current that was now running through his body.   Colours he had not seen since he was turned played with vigour behind his eyes, until the colours turned to darkness.  He slipped into unconsciousness with one thought running through his head, 

"I've failed her again."  

Walking past the slayer and the vampire on the lawn, the man who had been in charge of this operation scooped up the young girl, who still remained a nameless face to him.  He never asked questions, it wasn't in his best interest if he wished to remain among the living, turning to his team with the girl in his arms, and he smiled.  

"Mission accomplished.  Lets deliver our objective and go home," 

he said.  Buffy and Spike remained on the front lawn as the men and Dawn vanished into the night.

May 27 2004

Sounds began to penetrate through the nothingness that had been her mind for what seemed like forever, pulling her slowly out of her drug induced sleep.  

"She's been out for over fifteen hours are you sure the dose wasn't to strong?" 

A female voice asked.  

"No ma'am, she'll be waking up within the next hour.  We just wanted to make sure she remained compliant until we could have her secured for you, after all she is a powerful entity" 

a male voice replied.  

"Well its good to know that one person has a brain that works around here" 

came the woman's voice again.  Dawn took that moment to groan, as her eyes fluttered letting in light that shot pain through her head.  The two people in the room stopped talking as they turned to look at the child that lay strapped to the small bed in the room.  

"Well it's about time she came around.  Leave us now!"  

The woman said calmly.  The sound of a door opening and then closing broke the silence in the small room.  Shortly after the door had closed, the sound of a lock clicked into place, locking the woman and the child in the room together.  Moaning again, Dawn opened her eyes slower this time, in the hopes that it wouldn't shoot pain through her head this time.  She had been wrong, the pain was intense but her eyes were now open, and she let her eyes roam around the room.  The walls were the colour of grey slate, along with being bare and windowless, it made the room seem so much smaller.  There was no furniture except for the small hard bed Dawn found herself on.  No exits, but the door the man had gone through and then locked.  Dawn groaned again as she realized she was in trouble yet again.  The only difference this time was the fact that she knew she was in more trouble then she had ever been in before.

Her heartbeat raced fiercely within her chest, as she became less disorientated with every minute that swept by.  Moving slightly Dawn groaned again as pain shot through her body.  The woman that stood staring at her smiled evilly at the pain filled expression on her captives face.  Stopping her movements Dawn watched the woman warily, 

"this is definitely not of the good" 

she thought, while the woman stared at her with cold calculating eyes.  Not being able to stand the deadly silence that filled the room any longer Dawn spoke, 

"where am I, and why have you brought me here?"  

She whispered.  Her mouth was dry, and her words seemed to stick inside her throat.  The woman laughed, surprising Dawn; for she didn't think this harsh looking person knew how to laugh.

"Do you really want to know the answer to that question little girl?" 

Lila said coldly.  Dawn shivered as the meaning of those words sunk in to her mind.  

"I didn't think so," 

she stated flatly.  Dawn looked on horrified at the emptiness in the woman's eyes, she had seen eyes like that once before, well not really because those were the memories created by the monks that made her human.  But still, they were memories even if she had not really been there, those eyes were the same as the demon Angelus, only her eyes seemed to be more soulless if that was even possible.  You ether had a soul or you didn't, there weren't any in betweens, and Dawn felt sick with the realization that they meant to do her harm.  There was no doubt in her mind, that this woman was going to use her as the key again, and Buffy wouldn't be able to stop it.  The world would lose this time, she already knew it in her heart to be true, and all because she had been brought into existence.  She closed her eyes, as tears began to fall, and the woman who watched her smiled.  Pain was a living breathing thing, and Lila meant to bring it and much more to the world, starting with the small sweet girl that lay strapped to the bed in front of her.  Turning she left her to wonder at her fate, she still had much to do before the ritual to harness the girls power.  The sound of the lock being put in to place echoed through the small room, as Dawn tried to withdraw into herself, maybe there pain and grief would not be able to touch her.

May 30 2004

The light was dim and flickered eerily; casting shadows on stonewalls of the chamber that lay below the office building of Wolfram and Heart.  The girl had been brought in over an hour ago, but she had yet to acknowledge that fact, maybe the whipping and the bleeding had been too much for her young body and mind, Lila thought while observing the people in the room.  It would begin soon, every thing she had ever worked for was about to pay off, and she, Lila Morgan would be one of the rulers of hell on earth, and it was going to be all because of this small girl, who was now being chained up right within the pentagram they had made with her own blood.  Lila smiled as a moan passed her barely parted lips, and her head rolled on her shoulders.

It had taken two days of torture to break the girl into the compliant wreck that she was now, chained in the air by her arms and legs.  It had been fun for her, the girls screams had started with the first drop of acid that had hit her bare shoulder, it had been no more then a drop.  But the skin had begun to smoke, sizzle and bubble as she screamed in anguish.  It went on for hours, an endless array of physical and mental torture, that made Dawn cry out for her family and friends, for her sister who's job it was to protect her because she was the key and Buffy was the slayer.  Lila remembered smiling as the child screamed for the sister that would never come to save her, and even if by chance she had come, well there wouldn't be much left of the girl to save, she would have been a lost cause to them all.  Dawn had began to sweat excessively after only a half n' hour of her pain ridden experience, but to the surprise of all the senior partners the girl never once lost consciousness through out her ordeal.  It was strange and it had given Lila pause through her endless bout of pain that she her self was inflicting.  No normal mortal could remain conscious through all of the blows that had been dealt to her.  The girl was a puzzle, not just the piece that would fit into their plans, Lila shivered, as a sense of doom seemed to sweep through her.  Dawn would bring around the End of Days, but that would just be the beginning, she was sure of it, there was just to much to this girl and her origins that were unknown to everyone in the office, she just hoped that it would not be their downfall in the end.

Lila came out of her thoughts as the gathered witches, began their chanting, it would all work out for now, and that's all she needed to worry about, until something happened to make a change of plans.  Turning form the group she left the chamber to retire to her office, it would be 48 hours until the power of the key was in their hands, which would give her time to see to their little Angel and friends problem.

May 31 2004

11:45 pm.

Lila Morgan entered the chamber dressed in style; the world was about to end.  

"15 minutes until hell breaks lose, and it's all because of my plan.  It's a big pill to swallow, isn't Gavin."  

Lila sneered, as she came up behind him.  

"Lila, you haven't won yet," 

Gavin whispered while never letting his eyes leave the sight before him.  

"Gavin, Gavin, Gavin, I've already won, all this is just paper work now, so if I were you I'd be very, very nice to me, if you know what I mean," 

she said into his ear.  Gavin shivered at the hot raspy breath that brushed the side of his neck and ear.  His game plan was going to have to change, when this was all over.  Lila walked around him, and came to stand on the outside circle of the ritual ground.  Lila stared before her at the sight that was striking awe in all the gathered partners.  The girl was surrounded by a green flickering haze, and it appeared as if the child slept, so peaceful was her face.  But the shiver that ran down the spine of Lila Morgan was one of terror, and not awe.  Her body that had been black and blue two days ago was now completely healed.  Dawn's skin shimmered giving her an ethereal quality, she looked like an angel sent from heaven and her beauty was 10 times what it had been when she first arrived.  The girl was to die after her power was used to start the end of days, but this girl looked anything but near death.  She wouldn't be dying anytime soon, and that worried Lila more then anything that could have happened up until now.  Lila pulled herself out of her thoughts as she looked at her watch, the clock had just struck 12:00 am, looking up she watched as the chanting died down to silence.  

"The calm before the storm," 

Lila smiled to herself.  

The earth began to shake and groan around them, many fell to their knees with the shear force of the quake.   Lila watched with satisfaction when the restraints that bound the girl shattered into pieces, but to her amazement the girl did not fall to the ground.  Dawn remained four feet above the ground as the tremors became worse.  Light began to radiate from within her small form outward, leaving those within the chamber speechless.  The child took that one moment in time and froze it with the light she had created.  Time stood still for what seemed like an eternity, until the light faded and her eyes snapped open, staring blankly before her.  Lila let out a gasp as the earth ceased its movements, but it was not for that small fact, no it was for the green orbs that stared vacantly at her.  The child's eyes had become a pure green mass of shimmering energy and power, drawing life energy from the witches that surrounded her.  No one moved or dared to breath as the key obeyed their will,  hours seemed to have slip by, but it had only been minutes when the child's body began its decent to the ground, her green shimmering orbs started to dim until the blue-green of her natural eyes remained.  She curled up into a ball, as she cried tears of pain, whispering a mantra that echoed off the stonewalls, and gave the observers something to smile about.  

"The battle has begun.  The end of days is here, and you have won."


	6. 5

Chapter five 

Gifts

Light?  Light is the essence to which we all are born.  It brings us all forth, into a world of wonder and meaning.  It holds for us the key to a better place then that of which we lived or came from.  Allowing us to see everything in its brightness, but what is light?  Does it sit within us all, waiting for the day it may fade?  Hoping to achieve an even brighter essence, then that of a soul bathed in its light.  What of the darkness, that comes to consume it.  Does it ever really block the light from all that have touched it?  If he had asked him self that question long ago he would have said no.  Darkness sits within us all, waiting, watching, and plotting for the light to dim.  Even the briefest flicker allows the darkness to set in, spreading its long shadowy fingers through out the very core of us.  It feeds on the weak, which know nothing but despair, but it consumes the strong, which have strayed into its false embraces.  It whispers lies to all who may hear, promises of no pain, heartache, and struggle.  He had fallen into its vice grip clutches, unaware of what it would mean to him and the friends that had surrounded him for so long.  Wind can not be seen unless there is something to let its presence be know; leaves rustling, windmills turning, waves crashing on a shore, all of this lets us know that it exists yet we can never see it with our own eyes, it has no form or mass, it just is.  Humanity has the conception that good and evil exist only when there is something to show for it, just like the wind, yet good and evil both exist on their own, they sit within everything.  Seeing isn't believing and believing isn't seeing, he had learned that lesson the hard way and on his own.

 A warm gentle breeze lightly grazed the muscular arm, giving off the appearance of a lovers caress, pure, warm and comforting.  Its green misty fingers trailed lightly over the form of a battered man giving piece and rest to this once great warrior of the light.  Circumstance had led him form his chosen path, bringing him closer to that which he had always fought, and he had struggled with his choices for over two years now.  If only he had known then, what he knew now maybe things would have been different for everyone, but he would never know if that would have been true.  

"Have you walked hand in hand with the darkness for so long, that there is nothing left of the man you used to be inside you?"  

A child's voice whispered into ears he had thought were dead, for he knew with out a doubt that he had died trying to fight against the very darkness that had consumed him years ago.  He didn't answer, no answer was needed or expected, he just lied there on the ground, which felt like a bed of feathers and let the gentle voice and breeze give him the piece and comfort he had been searching for.  

"You think you are evil because that's what they want you to believe, but your not," 

she stated.  

"Your no more evil, then I would ever be.  Don't you see?  The choice you made was during a time of darkness for all involved, it was the only choice.  You did the right thing no matter how wrong it may have felt.  We all do what we must to survive; yet you believe that what you did was a great wrong to are dark knight.  He knows more then anyone what its like to walk, and be one with the darkness, is that not the reason for his atonement now?  He does not realize that to be forgiven, one must learn to forgive as well.  Do not worry, he will see that one day, and when he does his soul and his demon will become one, but only when he can learn to forgive himself, and others who have wronged him.  We have already forgiven him, and you, but it's not enough and it will never be until you both can see that what I speak of is true."  

Her voice whispered like the ringing of small bells.

The man's body began to knit back together, with the warm feeling that had cocooned him, it felt like heaven, and he never wanted to leave.  When he felt his body become whole once more he smiled, the pain was almost gone, even the heavy pain that had sat within his chest from the night he had taken Connor, and his world had gone from light to dark.  It was so quite he could hear the pounding of his heart, and the blood that rushed through his veins giving him life.  Wesley realized two things at once when the haziness began to subside from his body and mind.  He wasn't dead, he could feel his body and the life that flowed within it, and the voice which spoke to him was familiar, he hadn't heard her voice since leaving Sunnydale years ago.  He opened his eyes to see if it really was Dawn that had been speaking to him.  Laughter filled the air around him, giving off a sound of pure joy, while calming him at the same time.  This small light voice was power, so much power that it left him in awe when his eyes finally looked on the image of the voice its self.  

The room was round, at least it appeared to be, he couldn't tell for sure because it looked like the night sky, for all the blackness that lay in-between each little burst of starlight, the room seemed filled with light.  It was impossible to tell where the light came from, but it was beautiful and ethereal, like the green shimmering light that looked down on him now, at least it appeared to look down on him, he couldn't be certain for it had no true form.  He opened his mouth to speak, but found he could not.  His eyes opened wide with fear as he tried to voice his words.  That sweet laughter filled his ears once more, as the laughter died down she spoke, 

"you can not speak here, no one can, this place is sacred.  It's the beginning or I should say its before the beginning, there is no time or space here, it just is.  Language does not exist here, only though, so just think what you want to say and I will hear you just as you hear me now" 

the voice whispered.  

"Why am I not dead?"  

He thought.  Just as he had thought the words they rang out into the still starry room.  

"It isn't time for your death, we still need you, and a lot has changed since you were brought here."  

"How long have I been here for?  I don't remember coming here, I only remember dying in the battle."  

"As I've told you, time has no meaning here fore it does not yet exists, so I can not say how long you have been here?"  

"Do you know how long its been on earth then?"  

"You have been gone for six months, but your world isn't what you remember it to be, its hell now, well its hellish and things are much different now."  

"Did anybody survive?"  

"Yes" 

she sighed sadly.  

"You sound sad, why?"  

"My form still lives," 

her voice broke into a sob.  

"Dawn is alive, but how, you're the key," 

Wesley whispered.  

"Yes, I am, but I was made human, so as long as I exist so will my body.  Dawn and I are not two separate entities, we are one, and she just doesn't know how to use the power that we have.  Her mind has been shattered, she's changed and I am not sure if she can fit the pieces back together, it could take years, or she may be a broken child forever."  

"If it is as you say, then how can you be here without her, to be one and the same, you would both have to be here."  

"But we are both here, one cannot exist with out the other, we come to you now because her mind and body sleep, it's the only way.  I cannot let our power out when she is awake, our mind cannot take it."  

"I am sorry, it must be hard."  "It is, but it's always harder on those who are good, and pure."

Wesley sat staring at the key, absorbing all she had said.  Her last statement had struck a cord inside him, it had been so hard for so long now for him, could that possibly mean that he was still good.  Had he played the fool, letting Lilah into his life, letting her blind him to certain things, even going as far as to help his friends, only to have done the wrong thing in the end.  She played off of him, and he had let her for years now, he could even go as far as saying she had won their battle of wills.  So maybe his will wasn't strong enough to fight anymore, but then maybe that's what she had wanted him to believe all along.  

"I am assuming I'm here for a reason, and not just to talk.  What do you want from me?"  

The green shimmering energy danced before his eyes, while she contemplated how to proceed with what she had brought him here for.  

"You haven't entirely lost the watcher inside of you Wesley, its nice to know that you can still be counted on to get right down to business, even in the worst of times.  We need you to help Angel bind his soul to the demon, we also need you to fight for our side again, for the years to come."  

"Ok, slow down for just one moment, Angel is to bind his soul to the demon, are you mad.  He needs to bind his soul to his body and get rid of Angelus altogether."  

"No, Wesley do you not understand every thing I have told you so far?  Dawn and I are only separate in our personalities, but we make up a whole, if one of us was to parishes the other would as well.  We have to take the good with the bad in order to maintain ones self.  Angelus and Angel are one and the same, they just need to be brought together, to become whole again, like when Liam was mortal."  

"He will not hurt the people he loves if his alter ego is loose?"  

"I don't know the answer to that question, he may hurt all of you, but even the best of men hurt those they love sometimes, all I am saying is that he will no longer be the Angelus or the Angel that you know because he'll be whole."  

"So he could kill us still, if this works."  

"No, I didn't say kill, I said hurt, and there are many different forms of that emotion.  You will see that in time.  I would not say the things I do if it was not important.  Can you not feel what I say is true?"  

"Yes I can feel it, and I will do what you ask, but what do you want of me besides the obvious?"  

"The Powers that Be have asked me to give you a choice, go back as you were before we brought you here, and help bind his soul, but after that is done you will die again.  Or go back as one of our messengers, bind his soul, and fight for our cause until what's been done can be undone."  

"How long will it take to fix what's happened to the world."  

"I do not know, but I do know that you would die a mortal death before you ever saw the world change into what it once was."  

"I don't understand, how can I choose any of the two choices when I will die with what ever choice I make, I can't help you fix it if I'm not there."  

"Wesley do you not know what a messenger is?  You wont be human anymore."  

"What you'd turn me into a demon?"  

"No you wouldn't be a demon.  Lets just say you would be more enhanced then if you were human.  For every forty years that pass you will age as if only a year had passed in that length of time.  Death cannot touch you from the outside, it can only touch you from within, old age will be your demise, and we can only give you more time, not forever.  They have also decided to give you three gifts to help you and those that may surround you, but you will learn of them when the time is right."  

"So I wont live forever, I will die sometime, it just wont be as soon as I thought?"  

"Yes, we did not think you would want to live forever."  

"No, I don't want to live forever, I've seen first hand the loneliness that walks with forever, and I don't want to have to go through what he has for all these years."  

"I see you've made your choice, and it's the right choice only good will come from it.  I don't have much longer, my body is starting to wake."  

Dawn whispered.

Wesley noticed the change in the room as Dawn's whisper faded. Everything was becoming hazy and grey, almost as if this place could not sustain the key in its waking moments.  Images were rushing in and swirling around the room, they were all broken and jagged, sharp and dull, dark and light and soft and hard all at once.  He could see the mess that had become Dawns teenaged mind, he knew that what ever she had gone through had been horrible to reduce her to this broken thing that flashed and swirled around him.  He looked at the key before him, as other shapes much like her own green shimmering body came to stand beside her.  They all had their own colour that helped to define who they were and had been.  

"Dawn, how?  They are souls aren't they?"  

"Yes Wes, they are, and I wont let them cross over, they are still needed, only they have a while to wait until its time for them to return, unlike you who is needed now.  They will help as they are now, with putting Dawn's mind back into one piece.  She doesn't realize that what she sees in her waking moments is reality and not fantasy, she thinks she's gone crazy, she doesn't know that they are the souls of the ones who will always protect her.  Its time Wesley, lie back and close your eyes, this will be an unpleasant experience."  

"WAIT! How, how is this even possible."  

"The key's energy is older then time its self, there are things I could do that would leave you speechless, everything is possible, only when you give up do the things that are possible become impossible, remember that Wesley, if anything at all remember that and the possibilities will be endless."  

She whispered.  

"Will I see you again?"  

"You will see me only when I need to guide you, but you wont remember ever speaking with me again, we cannot interfere once we send you back, there are rules we have to follow, it is the only way, but you will remember what needs to be done when the time is right.  Now close your eyes there isn't much time left, my power is beginning to fade."

He had so many questions that would go unanswered, but he could see the haven he had awoken in shimmering out of existence.  Laying down he shut his eyes and waited, for what he didn't know.  Time seemed to stop as he waited which was funny since time did not exist on this plain, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years could have passed by and he would never know because everything here just was.  The first change started with a feeling of lightness within his body, which surprised him.  Slowly he began to tingle from head to toe, the warmth that had surrounded him was gone now, and a hard unfeeling cold took its place.  Wesley became frightened with this big change inside his body, as a over powering nausea hit him full force.  He was being pulled in all directions, torn in two and then being quickly stitched together again.  He was falling, and fast, plummeting to wards something he didn't know, but that wasn't possible.  He couldn't be falling he thought to himself, if he had been falling then he wouldn't feel like he was being pulled.  He realized as the sensations grew into a feverish pitch, that the pull he felt was the pull of time and space, he was being hurdled through it at a speed that was going to rip him in two over and over and over again.  There was no end to this horrendous feeling he thought, no way to know where he was going and in what direction, so he opened his eyes.  That was a mistake he wished he had never made, as he watched the bright colours race towards him at an alarming rate, or was he racing towards them?  He didn't know, if the pulsing colours hadn't been making him so sick in mind and body he would have found the experience beautiful, alarming, but beautiful.  He was moving faster then the speed of light, faster then time its self, this proved Dawn's words about possibility lying within everything.  His mind was screaming as was his body, this journey was going to kill him.  His body began to shut down, the experience was just too much for a body to remain aware of the changes that where happening at this speed.  Conscious thought was the last to leave him as the colours turned to black.

***********************************************

The sound of shattering glass and a bone crushing crash made the occupants in the small office jump.  Moving quickly Angel ran out the door and in to the lobby, looking for the intruder.  The others were just steps behind him when he saw it, broken and bloody and very much naked on the lobby floor.  

"Oh my God, he fell through the skylight, is he, is he dead?"  

Fred asked in shock.  

"I don't know?  Its almost a three story fall, I don't think any human could survive that."  

Angel whispered.  Taking a step closer to the fallen man he tried to see his face, maybe they knew him.  

"Dad!  What's going on, I heard a crash, are we being attacked?"  

Conner yelled from the second floor.  

"No, just stay where you are until I am sure that it's safe."  

Angel answered back.  

"Angel cakes, this isn't possible, I…. I mean we saw this person die the day the battle started, he was dead, this isn't possible" 

the host whispered.  

"What, you're making no sense Lorne, who is he?" 

Angel asked while looking at his friend.  

"Wesley! Its Wesley" 

he replied softly.  Angel turned to look at the man that had betrayed him and his son, but the old feelings of rage and betrayal didn't rise up in him, only an age old sadness filled his chest.  

"Conner, go get a blanket quick, and Fred,"  

"I am going Angel, first aid kits in the kitchen now, I'll bring water too."  

Fred said before Angel had the chance to finish his sentence.  Angel nodded and then turned, striding over to Wesley, he scooped him up gentle and headed to the stairs, Lorne wasn't far behind him, mumbling to himself the whole time.  

Angel was just laying Wesley down on his bed when Conner came in with the blanket.  Taking the blanket from his son, he quickly covered Wesley before Fred could see him.  She came running moments later with tears in her eyes, as she looked at the still pale figure on the bed.  Shaking her head sadly, she handed the box to Angel, and then turned and ran from the room sobbing.  The three that remained in the room watched her go sadly.  

"I know what she's thinking, and it's going to hurt her a lot.  I wish I could take some of her pain away."  

Angel said sadly.  

"I know, I do too, I even have some of the same questions that are running through her mind right now, but I wont ask them because its not for us to decide who comes back and who doesn't.  Its up to them, I just hope they haven't made a mistake choosing him, and not Gunn."  

The host said softly.  After that silence filled the room as the remaining two watched Angel carefully clean Wesley's body, and bandage him up.  His movements were fluent and graceful as he worked quickly and effectively, snatching any wounds that still bled.  Once finished the vampire pulled a chair up to the bed and sat down watching him, as he lay their oblivious to all that lay around him.  As the hours past his son and Lorne left him in his watch, Fred needed them right now more then the man that lay on his bed.  Even in sleep Angel could see the pain of past mistakes etched on his face.  He is a lost soul, Angel thought as he stared at the man he had once called friend.  

"_If he is a lost soul, then doesn't that mean you are suppose to help him, is that not what you do to atone for your past crimes and betrayals."  _

A voice inside Angel's head asked.  Angel shook his head trying to rid him self of that voice, he didn't want to think about that now, it would only lead to brooding and the way he had handled the Wesley situation, all he wanted right now was to have Wesley wake up.  His wish came true as the man on the bed moaned, and moved his head.  Angel sat forward, leaning over him, as he watched his eyelashes flutter on his cheeks.  

"Wesley, Wesley can you hear me?  If you can you have to open your eyes.  Come on Wes I know you can do it."  

Angel said quietly.  Wesley moaned again, as his eyes slowly began to open.  He was desperately trying to focus on the objects around him, when HE came into focus leaning over top of him.  Wesley could see the questions in Angel's eyes, but they would have to wait, the pain that was surging through his mind and body was just too much for him, and he could feel himself slipping back into the dark abyss of his mind, where the pain could not touch him.  Angel could see that Wesley wasn't going to remain awake for long, the pain in his body was so strong that he could smell it.  Angel watched as he faded into the beginnings of unconsciousness, it would be hours before he would wake again, and he never got the chance to ask him what had happened to him, but then he spoke one word before his word became dark again.  Angel sat back, while he said the word over and over again in his mind, what could he have meant by it, and why that word out of many.  Angel became lost in thought while he remained by Wesley's bedside, his lips moved forming a word over and over again.  It carried on the still air, as it came out as a whisper 

"FORGIVE"  


	7. 6 part one

Chapter six 

Second Chances 

Part One

She was being pulled in her endless wandering, through the very pits of what she believed to be worse then hell.  No matter where she traveled, images of another life, another place, another time, haunted her.  Called to her.  Sleep became impossible for days on end, not wanting to remember the horrors of another life.  She allowed her mind and body to become so exhausted, that when she would close her eyes to rest there wouldn't be anything but the blessed darkness.  It never worked out that way, oh there was darkness, but there were also flashes of memory as well, until sleep finally took her.  But even in sleep, there was never the darkness that she sought, that one small grace that she wished to become one with.  For in that state she could feel nothing, and be nothing, and nothing would exist.  No demons, no form, no world, no life, just the never ending void of darkness that would bring the peace she long for.  It was only in her conscious moments that she ceased to remember, or perhaps a better phrase would be she herself had ceased to be anything at all.  It was during these times that she became a living, breathing statue, where no one could touch her, and where loneliness was the only presence that remained able to penetrate her walls and barriers.  It was only in the moments before sleep and awakening, that the statue became a shell of her former self, the girl and the slayer known as Buffy.  It was then that the feelings of despair and hopelessness consumed her, making it all things that touched her, and came close to her.  It was in the air, the ground, the hellish red shy, and it was within her tortured soul.  In moments like these she would remember and the heartache would fill her, making her soul scream.  It would sit, twisting and turning, clawing at her flesh from the inside out, raging throughout her body, making it burn with a pain so deep and profound, that she knew it would always be there, whether she remembered or forgot.  She knew then and only then, that life had no taste, heart, and meaning anymore.

Six months of wandering through the southwest, had turned up little towns and small cities that were desperately trying to rebuild, what had once been their homes and lives.  She never stays long in these places, the people didn't trust strangers, and she never blamed them for that.  Everything they had ever believed in was gone now, and it was hard to grasp that, let alone understand that.  If the people she encountered began to get agitated with her presence after a few days she would shrug it off and begin her journey once more, hoping to find a place where she would be welcome to remain.  It never happened, not even when she had found that small child that sat crying by the bodies of her parents.  The girl had been no more then five years old, with bright blue eyes, that were shedding tear after tear down her dirt smudged face.  Something had ripped through her heart at the sight of the girl, making it hard to breath.  She was so innocent, and small.  It wasn't right for her to be sitting in the street crying over the two people that should still be here to take care of her.  Elizabeth moved towards the girl slowly, until she stood towering over her small form.  Two bright watery eyes looked up at her imploringly, yet fearful at the same time.  What had this child gone through, to make her fear those who looked to be just like her?

Long brown hair, that was dirty and stringy framed the small china doll face of the child, as she dropped her chin to her small heaving chest, breaking eye contact from the lady that stood over her.  A sob escaped past her tiny puckered lips, she looked like a broken little doll, and she was all alone in this hell.  Elizabeth dropped to the ground in front of her, and reached out to her, lifting the small face to look her in the eye again.  Huge teardrops rolled one after the other down her chubby cheeks, leaving clean skin in their wake.  The child's lips trembled harshly as she looked at this lady before her, not understanding what was happening or why it was happening at all.  A soft bell like voice filled her ears, when the child spoke.  

"Mommy…. Daddy…. wake up.  You wake mommy and daddy up?  Please!"  

The girl sobbed between each word.  

"I can't wake them up sweetie, I wish I could, but I can't.  Do you understand what I am saying?"  

Elizabeth whispered brokenheartedly.  The girl's crying seemed to magnify, and echo off the structures that stood around them.  Each gut-wrenching sob was quickly followed by a strong hiccup, as the girl seemed to get smaller right before her eyes.  So much pain, in such a small helpless being wasn't fair.  What would happen to this little innocent, who didn't have the ability yet to understand what had happened to her little world?  A small spark of light seemed to pierce through Elizabeth's heart, causing her to close her eyes.  What it was she didn't know, but it was changing something inside of her, she was sure of it.  A tear slowly fell past her closed eyes, as she shook her head sadly.  She came back to herself, as she felt warm soft trusting flesh circle her neck.  Opening her eyes she tilted her head down, to look at the head of the child against her shoulder.  Slowly she raised her arms to cradle the little form against her body, and rock her while she cried.

Time seemed to stop, as they sat on the ground holding each other, as the girl cried and shook in fear.  The first thing the Elizabeth noticed after what seemed to be hours was the people that were slowly creeping towards her and the girl.  Elizabeth stiffened, not knowing if they were human or not, or if they were a threat to the young one in her arms.  When they were no more then five feet away, an old man with grey hair, and cold hard brown eyes stepped forward.  She quickly realized that he was the leader of this small-frightened group of survivors.  She looked at him with only faint interest while she continued to sooth the child as she cried.  This seemed to make the man angry, for he came right up to them, and looked down on them threateningly.  Elizabeth didn't waver in the battle of wills that seemed to be going on between them.  She would wait for as long as it took for him to speak, and she would do it with out showing any weakness on her part.  The man exhaled loudly after no more then five minutes of this battle, he shook his head angrily as his lips parted.  

"Get that child to shut up now, before her cries make them come back to finish what they started this morning."  

He hissed loudly.  Elizabeth remained silent and unmoving, the only thing that showed was amusement in her bright green eyes, as she looked at him, and the way he changed colour with his anger, but why he was angry she didn't understand, especially towards a defenceless child.  

"Did you hear me?  Are you stupid, get her to shut up, before more of us die.  This isn't a game, its are lives were fighting for here."  

He yelled.  Then quickly clamped a hand over his mouth, while him and the others looked around fearfully.  What they were looking for was unclear, but she knew that it couldn't be good, if it made them this fearful.  

"And does she not have a right to live, and be as frightened as you are now?"  

She spoke with conviction, and belief in a steady voice.  

"No, those things should have killed her along with her parents this morning."  

There was no feeling or emotion in his voice, as he said those condemning words.  Elizabeth was shocked, and it showed on her face.  This man would wish death on a small defenceless child, with no emotion what so ever.  

"She deserves to live as much as the next man or woman, more so then anyone else here because she's just a defenceless child."  Elizabeth stated coldly.  A rage was beginning to build inside of her after being with out emotion for so long.  

"That is exactly why they should have killed her.  She was careless enough to wander out when the attack started this morning, and her parents were stupid to try and save her.  Well they saved her all right, but at the cost of their own lives and now she's alone and a threat to all of us again. And make her shut that excessive noise up, she end up getting us all killed I tell you."  

He spat, with an angry nod towards the child.  The girl whimpered softly and buried her face in Elizabeth's neck as she began to cry louder, she didn't understand why the man was angry with her or what she had done to be so bad, and make the mean man not like her.  Elizabeth tightened her hold on the girl and cooed to her softly, trying to still her fears and confusion.  When the child had settled somewhat she looked at the faces of the people before her coldly, until her gaze rested once more on the old man.  

"She's just as scared as all of you, but her fear is worse because she doesn't understand…" 

she was cut off by him.  

"And do you think we understand what's happening or even why it's happening?"  

He yelled.  

"No I don't.  But you can think about it and try to understand it because you're all old enough and capable of that kind of thought.  And like I was trying to say, she is just a little girl, and her mind isn't able to think about things on the same level as you or I.  You should be protecting her because she will be your future.  Don't you see that with out her our race will die out in this hellhole?  Then tell me how we can ever come to understand what's happening or why its happening?  When I was young people use to tell me that children were the worlds future, yet you wish death pone the one being that could be the one to ensure the future of the human race.  Do you really care more for the long life you have already had, I mean your what 75, 80.  You don't have much longer left I can tell, yet this little girl can't be more then 5 years old, and you would have her die before she has even had the chance to live, just so you can what?  Live a few more months, when she would have years. Mmhp you make me sick, all of you do, to care so little for the ones who are unable to care for themselves.  Is this what humanity is going to become, a bunch of people to worried about themselves, to help those who need it.  Well if that's the case, then your all no better then the monsters and demons that come and slaughter you one by one.  Look at her she's just a small girl who disserves a chance at life, no matter how bad it may be, and she disserves to be loved, truly loved, and watched over until she's old enough and strong enough to protect herself."  

Elizabeth stated calmly, although that was the furthest emotion raging with in her.  She could see two of the observers were crying and shaking their heads, maybe she could get these people to watch out for this little small miracle that had survived the end of days when so many had most likely perished.  She was so deep in thought that she jumped when the man spoke again.  

"That was a very nice speech, but it changes nothing, she will be our down fall, and then were will that leave the future.  It will be a future of corpses, only the strong survive, the weak all die and she is weak.  Now make her shut up and then hand her over, and be on your way, we don't take kindly to strangers, especially those who try to tell us what is what."  

He snarled.  Elizabeth noted that he was getting angrier by the minute, and it made her happy to see that, and she knew how she could also make him even angrier.  Smiling sweetly she asked 

"why do you want the girl now, didn't you just finish saying that she was a danger to you all?"  

His face seemed to change two shades of purple as his voice rang out loud and menising in the still pungent air, 

"because once you get her quite, we can take her a few miles from here and leave her to those things, as I said before only the strong survive."  

Elizabeth felt the first signs of an all consuming rage fill her chest, and she knew she was about to unleash it on those that stood before her, especially the old man who had dared to say those horrible in human things, he was as much a monster has the things that ran around killing those that had survived.  She stood suddenly bringing the child with her, as she rose to her full height, even if that height wasn't as tall as the man before her.  She gently placed the child on her small feet behind her, and then turned to the man who was beginning to seem more and more like the deil himself.  Small chubby little hands which were dimpled at the knuckles clamped around her right thigh, as the girl cautiously peeked around her toned leg to look up at what Elizabeth was glowering at herself.  Tears shimmered in her blue eyes as her little mind tried to make sense of every thing she had heard, but it was hard because she didn't understand everything they had said, her mind was unable to comprehend what it all meant.  She remembered her kitty Snowy had chased a mouse once and then caught it, and then it didn't move or run anymore.  Mommy said that Snowy by accident killed it, and that it had gone to heaven with all the other mouses that had been killed by accident.  Her mind rapped around the word killed, she knew its meaning, but why did the mean man want her to be killed and then gone to heaven.  Mommy and daddy wouldn't even let her cross the street by herself so why would this man want her to be gone to heaven by herself.  And what did the word died mean, he used that word too, he said that mommy and daddy were died, but mommy and daddy hadn't gone to died cause they were lying on the ground right there, so they couldn't have gone to died, cause they were still here, and sides they would bring me with them.  Mommy and daddy never go away to any place with out me cause they say I am their baby sweet pea.  This mean man is making up bad things and that's not very nice, and mommy always says to be nice just so you don't make people cry, but he makes me cry and mommy and daddy just stay a sleep not making it all better with hugs and kisses.  Maybe I did something to make them mad at me, but I know I was a good girl just like they told me to be, sides mommy cries when I cry so she would have give me hugs and kisses rights.  Oh no, no, no the mean man is coming now, mommy please wake up, its morning now.  This nice lady is yelling.  She looks like mommy when she yells at daddy for being what's the word she says, oh yea dimwitted, that's it that's it.  I am not so scared now cause the nice lady is beauifuls just like my mommy, and mommy would be soooo happy cause she gave me hugs and kisses to make me not so afraid of the monsters that were here.  But still where is died cause if mommy and daddy were going there then I have to be able to know the way too, so we can be a family, me mommy and daddy, maybe mommy and daddy will let the nice lady be in my family to cause I likes her a whole lots.  Their so lot of words that I never sawed before, maybe mommy or daddy will tell me what it is or maybe the nice lady will tell me.  The small child thought to herself while the argument began to get louder and louder between the man and Elizabeth.  

The young one was pulled from her thoughts when the nice lady gently peeled her hands off of her leg.  Once done she quickly took the two steps that brought them within an inch of each other, Elizabeth boldly looking up and the man looking down.  

"Just give us the child, you were right, we'll care for her."  

The man said.  Elizabeth didn't believe that for one moment, while she remained staring into his eyes, the eyes were the windows to the soul, and his eyes held nothing but lies and deceit.  

"You're lying!  She's coming with me when I leave here tomorrow, so you and your precious life wont have to worry anymore.  I'll do what all of you wont, I'll protect her and she will live a long life, even if it kills me."  

She screamed in his face.  

"You can't take her, she doesn't belong to you."  

"What!  You are making no sense what so ever, you tell me your going to leave her to die and now that you have the chance to keep yourselves safe from her weak state, you tell me no.  If I am correct she doesn't belong to you either."  

"Wrong little girl, she does belong to us.  Her parents are dead, and she was left in our care, by them while they still lived."  

"Right care.  But your not giving her care, your going to give her death, and I wont let you do that you'll have to kill me first, but let me tell you it wont work.  I am harder to kill and get rid of then you think, never judge a book by its cover, and if you want to find out then I am game."  

"I don't want to fight, I just want you to hand over Jessica and then be on your way.  If you keep heading in the direction you were heading, then in 3 to 4 days you'll hit L.A.  So just give me the girl."  

"No, like I said you lie.  You don't want to care for her, you want to kill her, I just can't understand why?"  

"Just give us the girl before they come back, so we can get off the streets."  

"You didn't seem frightened a minute ago, until you mentioned the girl and the things that did this to your town.  Why is that?  Why…Oh my god, where are the other children?"  

"What?  There are no other children, none survived but her."  

"You lie, where are they?  You better tell me now, oh I swear on all that is holy that I will kill you and tare this place a part until I find them."  

"There are none, I've already told you.  Now Jesse come over to me and take my hand little one."  

The man said while looking at the small child with hatred.  Elizabeth looked at the man in alarm, she knew that he had done something to the children that had lived, he had sold his soul to the devil himself, she was sure of it, and she just didn't know what he got in exchange.  Elizabeth turned in a way that enabled her to look at Jesse, but still keep a watchful eye on the man.  

"Jesse, honey.  You have a very beautiful name that goes perfectly with how beautiful you are."  

She whispered sweetly to the child, there was no reason to alarm the poor girl more then she had already been.  Elizabeth noted the man get down to the same level as the frightened child before speaking to her.  

"Jesse, come and take my hand so we can go and let this nice lady be on her way to her own home.  Then I can tell you about your mommy and daddy, and why they won't wake up.  Ok."  

He tried to sound soothing and calm, but Elizabeth sensed the lies behind it, and in the next moment it appeared the child had as well.  

"You are a very, very mean man.  You made my mommy and daddy get hurt.  Why, was I bad like the others you sent to the monsters."  

She asked pleadingly trying to understand all that was happening.  Elizabeth remained very still and tried to piece together what the child was saying.  

"Jesse!  Enough talking, come with me right now, before you up set everyone."  

He yelled in irritation.  

"No, you take me back there, Jesse no go.  Jesse stay with mommy and daddy.  Mommy and daddy saved Jesse from the monsters.  You go to the monsters, no take Jesse.  Mommy says you bad, and I say you mean.  I won't go.  I stay with mommy and daddy and the nice lady that gives hugs and kisses."  

She yelled while tears ran down her cheeks, and she waved her small fisted hands in all directions trying to get her point across, in a way everyone could understand.  Elizabeth noted the dark look that crossed the man's face, just before springing towards the small child that was now wailing loudly.  That sound alone would have been enough to shake the heavens and bring the angels racing towards her, in hopes of keeping her safe.  A scream tore from her little lungs when she saw him reach towards her with his big hairy hand, closing her eyes she waited for the smack that would come form him.  It never came, the only thing she heard was a pain filled shout, which caused her to open her eyes and stare at the scene before her.  Elizabeth had moved faster then the human eye could follow grabbing the hand that reached for the child before it ever made contact with her new young charge.  She snapped the hand back breaking at lest three of the bones in the hand along with both bones of the wrist.  She let him go and watched as he fell to the ground cradling the injured hand against his chest, she also noted that the others moved back in fear of her, which caused her to smile coldly at them.

Elizabeth smiled to her self when two young men finally moved forward, ceasing their leader and dragging him away.  She watched until they all had disappeared around a building, leaving her and Jesse alone on the street.  Turning back to the child, she pulled in a large breath at the sight before her.  Jesse was crumpled on the ground hugging her mother tight, as her small body shook with the force of her silent sobs.  Tears sprang into her green eyes for the little waif of a girl who sat holding on to the only things she ever knew.  

"How do you explain death to a 5 year old, and how do you make them understand what death means."  

She thought to her self sadly.  She moved to kneel beside Jesse, and let her know that she was here for her.  One small hand made contact with her knee, while those bright blue eyes looked up at her in confusion.  

"Mommy and daddy wont wake up will they?"  

She whispered in a tear strained voice.  

"No sweetie, they wont."  

She said quietly, but god this was going to be hard.  

"Why?"  

"Did your mommy and daddy ever tell you how sometimes bad things happen, and we don't know why, or even how they happen?"  

"I think so.  Did a bad thing happen to my mommy and daddy?  That why they won't wake up."  

She cried.  Tears had began to run down Elizabeth's face as the air in her chest seemed to be squeezed out slowly making her words catch and flow out unevenly.  

"No baby, they won't wake up.  They had to go away, and I know they are watching you from where they are."  

"But they no leave Jesse.  They always bring Jesse with them, sides their right here see."  

Jesse said with determination and hope.  The heart that couldn't break anymore seemed to be breaking all over again for this poor little girl.  

"Ok, sweetie I am going to explain this the best that I can, but if you don't know or understand something I need you to tell me, so I can help you understand."  

"Yea, I listening."  

"Your mommy and daddy had to go to heaven.  You know what heaven is don't you Jesse."  

"Yea, its where mouses go when they get killed by my kitty, but mommy and daddy didn't get killed, they get dead, the mean man said that they got dead not killed."  

She said with such innocence that Elizabeth had to look away to keep the cry that was rising up inside of her.  

"What's your name?"  

Jesse asked softly.  That soft bell like voice brought her out of the pain, and she looked at her again, and smiled.  

"My name's Elizabeth" 

she said.  Then reaching over she enveloped the child in her arms and settled her on her lap as she began to explain the rest of her explanation.  

"Honey when people die, or when they are dead, they also go to heaven with the mouses."  

"But there still here."  

"I know baby, there bodies stay here, but the thing that makes them your mommy and daddy, the thing that sits right here inside their chest leaves and goes to heaven."  

"They come back, cause when I go to Katie's house, I come back, so mommy and daddy come back from heaven right."  

"No Jesse they wont, when you go to heaven you can't come back."  

"They don't love me anymore, is that why, they no come back."  

She cried as more tears fell from her eyes.  

"No sweet, its not because they don't love you.  I know for a fact that they love you very, very much, and that they would do anything and everything they could to come home to you, but they can't because it doesn't work that way.  So never ever think that your mommy and daddy don't love you for even one second."  

"But if mommy and daddy are in heaven, then whose going to love Jesse, and read bedtime stories to me.  I'm not allowed to be alone.  Mommy and daddy say I'm not big enough yet."  

"I know your not sweetie, and that's why I am going to take care of you, your mommy and daddy would want that wouldn't they?"  

"Yes mommy would like you lots and lots, cause you just like my mommy, but I see them again right?"  

"Yes Jesse, you will see them again one day."  

"I have to be killed or dead to see them won't I Izabuff."  

Jesse began to cry harder and louder, as the words tumbled from her mouth.  

"Yes baby, but that won't be for a very, very, very long time.  You still have your whole life ahead of you, but I do know that when you do get to heaven that your mommy and daddy will be waiting to give you hugs and kisses, and until that day, they will always be right here inside your heart, and watching over you."  

Elizabeth whispered.  

"But I stills what my mommy and my daddy, I don't want them to be dead."  

"I know baby, I know.  I wish they could still be here with you too.  But Jesse I do promise you that the pain and the sad feeling inside will go away in time, and if you ever want to talk or even cry I'll be here forever."  

"You promise you no get dead too."  

"I promise forever to you Jesse, I'll never leave you for any reason."  

Standing up with Jesse in her arms she began the long journey to the city of Angel's.  Maybe she would be able to live after all.  Jesse was going to be hand full, and Elizabeth was hoping just for that.

Jesse had cried the first night, refusing to eat or speak.  Elizabeth let her call out for her parents until sleep had finally taken her small body in to a restless sleep, maybe dreams would come to her, that would make her forget the pain for awhile, and then maybe by morning she would eat, and not cry so much.  Not that the crying was bad, it was just that water was scarce and this desert was hot day and night, if that's what you could call either of the two.  Dehydration was going to become a worry if she continued like this before they reached L.A.  Morning came with huge raindrop tears, but Jesse did eat and drink a bit, to Elizabeth's delight.  Only two more days of travel to go, and then she could get Jesse all cleaned up, and allow her the time needed to greave for her lost parents.  Two hours of walking began to show on her little charges face, she was tired and her lips were already cracked and dry.  

"Jesse here you need to drink some of this, you don't have enough water inside your body from crying, but that's ok cause this will help you.  Please drink it, and then how would you like to have a piggyback ride for a while, it'll be fun I promise.  Besides you can rest then, you wont have to walk anymore to day, how's that sound."  

Elizabeth asked, trying to sound enthusiastic about everything that was going on.  She knew it had to be hard for the child to be uprooted the way she was especially after the events that had occurred in her young life.  

"Ok Ebuff, I'm very thirsty, and I love piggyback rides daddy gives me them all the time."  

The child's face dropped with those words, and her little foot began to dig into the dirt, while she looked at anything but Elizabeth.  She came down to Jesse's level and took her hand, while she waited for Jesse to look at her.  Jesse's blue eyes met green a few minutes later, and Elizabeth smiled warmly.  

"Hey, its ok to talk about them.  I just got the very best idea ever, here you drink this while I tell you ok sweetie."  

She said softly.  

"Oh ok Ebuff."  

Jesse replied.  

"That's my girl.  Now how about you tell me, all about your mommy and daddy while I give you a ride.  Would you like that?"  

"Oh yes, yes, yess."  

Jesse cried with excitement.  

"Well then you better hop on cause the piggy is leaving the station."  

Elizabeth said with a laugh.  Jesse laughed as she jumped on to Elizabeth's back and the two girls started walking again.  Her little bell like voice floated around them as they continued on their journey, until slowly the pauses in between each word got longer and longer.  Elizabeth knew the moment Jesse was asleep because she had become dead weight, not that she was to heavy for her to carry.  Jesse couldn't have weighed anymore then 50 to 60 pounds, which was nothing for her.  Elizabeth walked on throughout the rest of the day and night as Jesse slept peacefully in her arms.  The city of Angel's she thought about in the long hours of night, but the thought of Angel's brought back a memory from what she thought must be her past.

****

****

**_~ He stood no more then twenty feet away in between two fire trucks, and stared at her.  No words were spoken, he had already told her, he wouldn't say goodbye if they lived.  Well they had and now he stood there looking at her, memorizing every inch that was Buffy, as she did the same to him.  Time froze that moment and placed it inside both their minds forever, nothing could make them forget that one heartbreaking moment of loss.  Then it was over and he was turning away from her forever, leaving her to live in the light, as he walked in the darkness and out of her life.  The smoke had swallowed him whole as he left her there, watching him leave.  It was over; the greatest love she had ever known was gone now forever.~_**

Elizabeth came out of her memory when she glimpsed thousands of tiny lights in the distance; walking faster she made her way toward them being careful not to wake Jesse with the bounce in her light steps.  The closer she got to the city of Angel's the more she noticed this slight tingling sensation that seemed to start in her stomach and then spread through out her body.  What it was she didn't know, but for some strange reason she whispered one word into the early morning light, and she didn't know why or what it could possibly mean.  

"ANGEL"


	8. 6 part two

Chapter six

Second Chances

Part Two

          Angel sat in the tall backed chair, cradling his head in the palm of his hands.  Wesley still lay only a few feet away in his bed, unconscious.  Hours must have past since the last time he was awake.  Angel knew it would be awhile until Wesley would wake, but he never thought it would be this long.  Leaning back, Angel ran a hand through his messy hair as he tried to find a position that would allow his stiff body to relax.  He was tired, so very tired.  He hadn't been sleeping well, his search for a binding spell kept him from sleep for days, until his eyes could no longer remain open.  Now on top of every thing that was happening, it seems fate was throwing another obstacle in his path.  Why the powers brought Wesley back and not the others would more then likely remain a mystery to them all?  He did however know that they only do the things they do for important reasons, and Wesley appears to be needed here for the coming years, why else would they bring him back.  As Angel sat thinking to him self, he noticed a subtle feeling begin to make it's way through his body.  The little hairs on the nape of his neck stood on end, as a strong swirling, tingling sensation filled his entire body.  Angel stood abruptly and began pacing the length of the small room.  How was it possible?  She couldn't be ready yet?  Cordy had said it would be a while before she would be ready to fight again.  So why was his love in L.A? Had something happened to her?  Had Wolfram and Hart tracked her down to insure the threat of the slayer wasn't going to be a problem?  All these questions ran at top speed through his head, as he made another sweep of the room.  He was so absorbed in his own thoughts and feelings he never heard the door open slowly, or see the girl that stepped in closing the door behind her.  

"Buffy" 

Angel whispered into the silent room he believed to be occupied by himself and the unconscious man on the bed.  

"Angel, I, well that is to say, are you.  Well of course your alright, but is there something bothering you?"  

Fred's voice carried through the still air of the small room.  Angel was pulled from his thoughts at the sound; turning quickly he looked at her.  He noticed how she stood fighting almost like her body was unable to remain still for even a moment.  He smiled at the thought of Fred ever remaining still for any period of time; it was never likely to happen.  

"Fred, you always tell me to make noise while entering a room.  It looks like I am not the only one.  I didn't even hear you come in."  

Angel whispered.  

"Well of course you didn't hear me, I mean with you in brood mode, you wouldn't hear an explosion if it happened right next to ya."  

Fred said while laughing.  

"What were you thinking about?  Is it her, or Cordy?"  

She asked,  

"You can say her name you know, it's not going to make me all broody the way you and Cordy always seem to think it will."  

His smile died on his lips as soon as the words left his mouth.  A sadness and loneliness filled his eyes giving him that far off look.  Fred's heart seemed to stop for a moment when she looked at the pain on his face.  

"You see, your doing it right now, with just the mention of her."  

She said kindly, not wanting to upset him further.  Angel shook his head sadly.  

"It wasn't the thought of Buffy, Fred.  It was the thought of Cordy."  

Angel said.  

"Oh!"  

Fred's voice dropped to below that of a whisper.  If he hadn't been a vampire, he wouldn't have heard the little exclamation that left her barely parted lips.  

"I miss her!  She was my best friend, even when she was bitchy, tactless, sweet and kind.  All of that just made me love her more.  She was Cordy, and now she's gone, and it hurts.  We've lost so many good people Fred, and with the new rule, we're going to lose more, and I don't know if I can handle that."  

Angel finished on a sigh, while raking his hands through his hair.  Fred watched him for a moment while trying to get her thoughts in order.  If she didn't the pain would be more then she could bare.  

"I know, I miss them all too.  But what I don't understand is, Cordy was half demon, she had all these powers.  How could she have, I mean how could she have died."  

Fred whispered, as the tears she was desperately trying to keep at bay pooled into her eyes.  

"Half demon yes, but invincible no. You never knew him, but Doyle was half demon as well.  Look at me, I'm a demon and yes I know that I can live forever, but I'm not invincible.  I can die, just like Gunn, Cordy, Willow, Xander, Giles, Dawn, Spike and countless others who were lost in the final battle."  

Angel said with sadness, even though he tried hard to suppress that emotion.  There wasn't time to dwell on all they had lost, when there was still so much to achieve for what was left of humanity.  

"NO" 

Fred yelled, causing Angel to jump in surprise, for she never raised her voice let alone yelled, it had never been something she had done even when angry or scared.  

"Oh Fred, I know it's hard to accept that their really gone, with Wesley coming back from the grave.  You have to stop this, it'll only kill you inside if you don't."  

"No, well not no to them being gone, because I know they are, and well Wesley I don't really want to talk about that now cause its too confusing to even contemplate for me.  What I meant to say was no you're not a demon Angel, don't think like that."  

Fred whispered, she really didn't want to yell again, it was one of those things she tried not to do because if she did start yelling she always felt like she would never stop.  Angel laughed with no humour what so ever in his voice, as he looked at her with shock on his face and regret in his eyes.  

"Fred, I'm a vampire.  You know that, and they are demons."  

"Your right Angel, they are demons, but you're not one of them.  You have a soul remember."  

Angel looked at her and shook his head hating what he was going to tell her, and knowing that she would never be the same after he told her just how wrong she was, but she needed to know the truth about what he truly was.  

"I'm going to tell you something, that I told Buffy a long time ago.  I may look like a man, I may walk like a man, but I'm not one.  I am a demon Fred, and the only reason I haven't ripped out all of your throats is because of my soul.  It's not even permanent, hell it can be ripped from me in an instant, and I would kill you Fred, no question about that."  

Fred shook her head while more tears pooled in her eyes.  Angel stepped forward to comfort her, but she stepped away from him causing him to sigh before continuing.  

"If you ever met Angelus, you could beg all you wanted, about us being friends, about how I could never hurt you or anyone for that matter, and he wouldn't care.  If anything he would kill you because I loved you and cared for you.  He's with me, always screaming and pushing to get out, and the only thing stopping him is my soul, which as I said can leave in an instant.  So you see I am a demon, and you need to know that and understand it because if Angelus ever gets out again, and my soul isn't in the picture than you're as good as dead."  

Fred's hand flew up to her mouth as she tried to stifle the sob that rang forth.  Shaking her head, she turned and ran to the door as the tears started to flow freely.  She threw the door open and sprinted from the room without looking back, and Angel just sighed at what he had just done.  

"I think you just killed the fairytale for her Angel.  You know you can be such an asshole when you're trying to be noble, I'm surprised you haven't learned your lesson by now."  

Wesley spoke quietly, to Angels back.  Angel growled loudly at Wesley's voice, and spun around to stare at him.  He was sitting up in the bed now, looking at Angel with what appeared to be very tired and knowing eyes.  If he had given any thought before speaking, he would have wondered just what he had been through to make him look so defeated and wise.  

"Your opinion is a very untimely one Wesley, and besides I don't remember asking you for it.  You should really be more careful, because I would like nothing more than to rip your throat from your body."  

His words came out on a growl, while his face shifted to that of his demon.  Wesley looked at Angel, and laughed.  Angel was taken aback, not expecting that reaction to his threat at all.  Wesley was doubled over now, pounding his fist on the bed, tears of mirth were running down his cheeks as he continued to laugh hysterically.  Angel growled again, as he sat down in annoyance.  He had never known the ex-watcher to act so tactless, by laughing at a threat, he knew very well Angel could in all actuality, act upon without a moments notice.  He had tried to kill him when he had taken Connor, and Wesley knew that, yet he acted, as through it was the funniest thing in the world.  Growing impatient with Wesley's unending laugh fest, Angel yelled.  

"WHAT THE HELL IS SO GOD DAMN FUNNY?"  

Wesley sat up trying to suppress his laughter, while wiping his face and drying his tears.  Once he was calm, he looked to the vampire sitting in the chair by the bed.  

"You look like shit Angel!  You should really try to get some sleep."  

"You don't look so good yourself Wesley, but we're not talking about how we both look.  I want to know what's so funny, and than I have some questions that you're going to answer."  

Angels voice held a deadly tone, and Wesley could tell that now was not the time for banter, as he realized that the vampire was only holding on by a thread.  He briefly wondered what had happened since he was last on earth, to drive Angel this far, but before he got to far in thought he shook the thought from his mind, for a later time.  After all he did have other more pressing matters to get into.  

"Your threat was funny, since we both know you won't kill me.  Remember your soul is stopping you from ripping all our throats out."  

He snickered, even though he tried not too.  

"Don't be too sure, I remember holding a pillow over your face not that many years ago, and I do believe I made sure you knew it was me and not Angelus."  

Angel snarled at the memory of Wes's betrayal.  

"That was a crime of passion Angel.  There is a big difference between planning to kill somebody, and killing somebody in the heat of the moment.  And NO, I'm not saying its ok to go around killing people Angel, I'm just saying that it was understandable with the circumstances, after all you thought your only son to be dead."  

"That's not the point Wes, and you know it.  I could have killed you even with my soul, and I would have done it with a song in my heart."  

"It was understandable, I did betray you and everyone else."  

"Yes, but I should have handled it differently.  I should have…"  

Angel's voice caught on his words and he had to look down.  He didn't need Wesley to see the pain in his eyes.  Wesley watched him intently before finishing Angel's sentence for him.  

"Forgiven me?"  

"Yes"  

"Why didn't you than?"  

Angel raised his eyes to look at Wes's, and there was a deep sadness in his eyes that hadn't been caused by his betrayal.  

"You took the one thing, that I thought I could never have.  You lost faith in what we all stood for and tried to play the hero, when you should have know we were a team, and we would have done everything to make sure Connor stayed safe, even from me."  

"I know that Angel, but I can't change what I did.  I admit it was a grievous mistake, but even the best of men make mistakes, after all we're only human."  

"We both made mistakes Wesley, and they are in the past.  Why don't you tell me what made the PTB send you back?"  

Angel sat back with that, getting comfortable he waited for Wesley to start his story.  Wesley lay back down, with a sigh.  The pain was better, and he could feel his body knitting back together the way it had in that place beyond all time and space.  Once he was settled, he looked at the vampire and began his story.  

"I have to tell you, it's long and I don't understand a lot of it my self.  I can only tell you what I was told to say, the rest can only be known when the time is right, so don't ask me for information that I'm unable to divulge until the time is right."  

Angel smiled slightly at Wes's words.  

"Alright I won't ask, but it figures they would be the only ones playing by the rules.  I think they do it purposely so they can see us struggle."  

Wesley laughed at that, for it was true.  The powers always played by the rules, even if it means they will lose the fight.  Wesley's voice was strong as he started his tale.  

          Two hours had passed since Wesley had begun to explain how he had come back to the land of the living, and during that whole time, Angel had sat in silent rapture making sure not to miss a single word that was uttered by the man who used to be one of his best friends.  It was so much to take in at one time, that it left him dizzy.  Looking at Wesley in utter disbelief, everything he had said was wreaking havoc inside his head.  He had been sent back with the purpose of binding his soul, and to fight the good fight once more.  He was wondering what the hell the powers were up too, for they had even gone as far, as making him half demon.  Shaking his head he looked at Wesley, who had finished his story only a few short minutes ago.  There were so many questions he wanted answered; yet he knew that he would only find a handful of them answered if he was lucky.  

"Who told you all of this?"  

He whispered, and Wesley smiled, as he got ready to play the part of cryptic guy for once.  

"A little green birdie told me."  

He stated as if it had been the most obvious thing in the world.  

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?"  

"Exactly what I said.  It was a little green birdie that told me everything that I've told you.  Now do you understand?"  

Angel looked at him blankly; his mind was in utter confusion.  

"No I don't, and do you know this little green birdie, as you call it?"  

Wesley smiled, and something in that smile unnerved Angel to the very depths of his soul.  

"I know her!  As do you." 

Angel looked at him in shock.  

"I know her, as in know and not knew?"  

"Precisely Angel, and might I say that you truly are the perceptive one tonight."  

Angel growled low in his chest, at the innuendo in Wes's words.  

"Alright, I wont agitate you with my words."  

Wes chuckled as he held up his hands in defeat.  A strange look came across Angels face at Wes's behaviour.  

"What is it Angel?  Why are you looking at me like that?"  

Angel responded with out thought.  

"You haven't changed all that much since the last time you were part of the gang."  

Wesley found himself almost speechless at his words, but he somehow found his voice to reply with the only thing he could.  

"So I'm back in the fold then?"  

"I figure if the powers can give me a second chance, and forgive me for the horrors I committed in my past.  Then I can only do the same, after all who am I to be so petty for wrongs committed in the past, and besides, you were only doing what you thought was right, and I respect that.  Don't get me wrong Wesley, I still resent you for what you did, but I can start to forgive, and that's the only thing I can give you right now."  

Angel finished with a sigh.  He was just so tired of all the fighting, and the weight of loss that sat in his chest constantly that he couldn't deal with all the little things that somehow always found their way onto his already to full plate.  Angel stood, and made his way to the open doorway, he had things that needed to be done, but most of all he had to find Fred and apologize for his behaviour earlier, because Angel knew that Wesley had been right.  He always seemed to be an asshole when trying to do the right thing, and he just never learned that lesson, no matter how many times he repeated the same mistake.  Wesley's voice stopped him in his tracks.  

"I wouldn't ask you for anymore then you're willing to give Angel.  I may be different because of the choices I've made, but I'm still Wesley.  I know when to push, and when to back off, and what you're willing to give me is more then I thought you would give."  

"Get some rest; you had some pretty nasty wounds that need time to heal.  I'll come check on you in a while, I have somebody to find right now." 

He said softly, before closing the door.  Wesley stared at the closed door for a bit, while he tried to digest all the things that had past between him self and Angel.  Shaking his head he settled down to rest, but his mind wouldn't let him.  Too many variables were playing in his mind.  How was he going to accomplish any of the things the powers sent him back to do, when Angel was so different then the last time they had been on speaking terms?  Wesley's brow ferruled as a voice came into his head.  

***_You should know how time can change a person, even the ones who seem beyond change, have the last two years not changed you?_**_ *  _

Wesley didn't like where this voice was bringing him, so he rolled over, and shut his eyes tightly, hoping that sleep would come to him soon.  Tomorrow would be a new day, and he would finally have the second chance to make up for all the things he had done wrong, and maybe, just maybe he would find redemption for his own lost soul.


	9. AN

A/N: I'm so, so, so sorry everybody, about the huge delay in my stories right now, but my computer got a bug and unfortunately I lost all my files and I have it sitting in the shop right now trying to get it up and running again. Don't worry I do write out all my chapters before going to the computer so I didn't lose any of my story with this computer not working thing. Again I'm hoping to be online again no later then next week, so you'll have chapters for both stories and I hope you enjoy them. Oh and also I'm not going to leave ya all hanging, I will finish the story as my muse allows. If there are lengthy delays. Ok toodles for now. 

Blue eyes.


End file.
